The Beginning....



People always ask me how did I get into astrology. I have to say since I can remember I would check out my horoscope in magazines. Not that it made much sense when I was younger or that I even knew how to apply it to my life. With the exception of one time when I was in my twenties and the horoscope said that I had to make a choice because it would affect a significant amount of years. I was in a dysfunctional relationship so I ended it and the years that followed were good. I would question periodically if that astrology reading was true.

Growing up I had strong intuition and knew things before they happened. Nobody ever told me it was wrong or I shouldn’t do it or maybe they just didn’t know I had it. I now realize it was the very essence of how I lived my life and the energy of my north node which is a person's destiny, purpose, or spiritual growth within this life time.  I was in a relationship, the same relationship mentioned above, where the guy continually told me I was crazy and needed professional help. I began to question my ability even though everything I was telling him was proven to be true.

During the same time as the boyfriend I was very confused because I was taking hormone contraception that unbalanced my hormones which is the complete opposite of their purpose. I was having allergic reactions to the pills. I went through 4 different types in 8 months and each time I would explain I was feeling crazy and sick. The provider would tell me that it’s not possible and I should continue taking it. After several health providers I finally had a doctor tell me that I was one of those rare people who couldn’t take hormone contraception because it affects me neurologically. It took a year to recover from that episode to finally feel some-what grounded and coherent. That experience triggered my disbelief in western medicine and its ability to heal people. From that point on I was in search of natural ways of healing the physical body.

Together between birth control and a boyfriend who was telling me I was crazy because I was psychic, I shut down and became the walking dead. Mind, body, and soul connection gone. I went from living a life of being able to read people and situations and intuitively knowing what to do, to an absolute barren inner world that only consisted of fear. I feared everyone and everything and this began my journey of understanding what had happened to me on a spiritual, physical, mental, and emotional level.

I took various classes like Dahn yoga, different types of Ki gong, intuitive classes with Darshini In Spirit, and received Vedic astrology readings that were gifted from a friend. Each class opened up some part of my spiritual energy within. Dahn yoga opened up the color I see within when I close my eyes. Spring Forest Ki gong class opened up ability to see energy orbs with my eyes open. Darshini allowed for a space for me to feel comfortable listening to my intuition and to share with other people.

What changed my life the most was my last Ki gong teacher. She would give me Western astrology readings after my class to help understand what was happening in my life as I was continuing on with my healing. She had printed out my astrology chart and told me that when a certain aspect happened, it should bring about change within my life. Multiple times I would stare at my chart and become very frustrated. I would wonder why I keep looking at it if I didn’t know how to read it. I would look at it again and again only to become frustrated but I would never throw it away. There was this energy or pull that wouldn’t let me do it and deep down inside I felt like there was a reason I wasn’t throwing it away.

Until one day I looked at the chart and was pulled to a planet that had nothing around it. I heard a voice in my head describing Pluto in the 6th house and the energy for that week would involve coworkers, cooperation, health, and diet. I laughed at myself thinking I had completely made it up until I looked up one of my favorite astrologers and she said my weekly horoscope would involve Pluto in the 6th house which meant coworkers, cooperation, health and diet. I sat in shock with my mouth to the ground. I couldn’t believe what I was reading. Even after seeing the proof I still blew it off as coincidence.

Eventually there was no doubt I was having someone tell me higher knowledge from somewhere other than this reality. But trust me I went through months of doubting every time information would be given to me. Each time I thought it was ridiculous and it couldn’t be happening but EVERYTIME the answer came I would be shown how it was related to the astrology chart. I would be shown the planets and the aspects and then I would be told to look it up on the internet. You know what….dang if it wasn’t correct!!!! You know after hundreds of time doing this I started to believe and yet I am still blown away to this day when the information aligns. How cool is it that someone is taking the time to share this with me and how cool is it that I can now understand life from a whole new perspective.

I call my teachers “My Peeps”. They guide me in my waking and sleeping world. I have woken up in the middle of the night to see a giant energetic astrology chart on the wall telling me when something is going to happen. It was one of the moments I had to sit there opening and closing my eyes to make sure I was really seeing it. I was like yup there is a giant astrology chart on my wall and no one is going to believe me so I might just keep that a secret for a while LOL

My Peeps use astrology as another language. I understand the language of astrology better than I understand the English language. It turns out in a few places with my astrology chart that I am a natural born astrologer meaning I already knew astrology before I came into this life. In this life I take it to the next level which excites me to no end. Astrology allows me to see situations from a higher point of view. Every one of us is here for our own growth and this growth is based on birth day, time, and location of birth.

So now I begin my journey to share with everyone what I have encountered as my spiritual awakening or re-awakening. I will share my past, my present, and what I am shown for the future.

The Fear Of Black Moon Lilith



Learning the depths of life came through actual experiences for me. Some people get to learn from a book, a class, or a teacher. My chart says I am self-realized and I will learn from extremes experiences within life. One would think knowing that, I should just be able to move through my fear and encounter an enlightened state which allows me to walk on water. But I’m human and I feel and there are many layers to life and fear. I was blessed and not so blessed with a lot of energy in Scorpio. There are 3 levels to Scorpio energy and the third level being the healer but this isn’t earned from reading a book. It is being able to have traumatic and extreme situations take place in life and being able to look fear straight in the eye to transform into knowledge and empowerment. It is going deep into the psych unblocking fears so that the truth from the soul can come forward. In other words, it is a person earning their stripes from war.

I have:

Sun, Mercury, Mars, and Venus in Scorpio

Jupiter in the 8th house of Scorpio

Pluto, which is the ruler of Scorpio, conjunct my IC which means all the planets in the 4th house also carry the Scorpio energy. I have my moon and Uranus in my 4th house.

I have Black Moon Lilith in the 8th house of Scorpio.

All this energy says I am a spiritual ninja warrior princess. Out of all that energy it is the warrior in me that is the strongest. My Black Moon Lilith, or my primary fear is in Aquarius 8th house of Scorpio. That says I am a feminist, unconventional, and a freedom fighter. My BML squares my natal sun and venus in the 5th house of Leo. In this life I would have difficult love relationships, fear of intimacy and having a child.

On the same note, the thing I fear most is the thing that brings the most profound change within my life. I am here to have a deep soul connection that transcends all belief systems that have been put into place. I am here to have sacred sex that transcends this reality into something that is pure and powerful. I am here to experience the mother and child bond. All this energy is the true human experience of heart, soul, and connection. It is the connection a person sees in movies that is worth fighting and dying for. It can’t be replicated or constructed by any means other than through human experience.

My fearful reactions in this area are primal and tend to get the best of me. I have zero tolerance for irresponsible masculine energy. Whether it is an actual guy or the masculine energy that is in place on this planet through corporations, government entities, or organizations that claim to help the people for their best interests but are only out for self-profit. This masculine energy claims to be of truth and integrity but its truth changes every moment to benefit itself. This applies to the fine print, laws and regulations that protect the lies and corruption.

For me to better understand fear, myself, and my reactions I had to slow down the reactional process. I wanted to understand on a mind, body, and soul level what fear is. I knew when I would be encountering it the most when my BML was being triggered within my astrology chart. It was then I put my life on pause to dive into the depths of the underworld.

I started with the uncomfortable feelings. How did I know I was in fear? What was the first thing I experienced? I broke it down by situations when I was by myself and when I was in the heat of the moment. If I was by myself, I would get a mental picture of an event. This event could be from the past, the present moment, or worrying about the unknown about something or someone. This mental picture created a reaction within my physical body.

What was I feeling in my physical body to let me know that I was fearful? Where in my physical body did I feel it? Typically, it was in my stomach. I noticed I was tightening my stomach and when I did this then other muscles would tighten like a chain reaction. I would allow myself to see the mental picture and I would pay attention to my stomach. Each time it would tighten as if I was holding on to the memory for dear life. How ironic that the uncomfortable feelings I didn’t want were the exact thing I was holding on to. I realized it wasn’t the memory, the person who I thought did me wrong, or an event that was causing me uncomfortable feelings. It was me!

If I was in the moment with someone and I encountered fear then the initial reaction was like a wild fire. A flame would rise in my solar plexus which is in the stomach and flare up to my heart chakra creating a shield to protect myself and my sword was always to follow because it was like getting ready for battle. Both situations involved the solar plexus. Ironically, the solar plexus is ruled by Aries which is the warrior energy, the masculine energy, and primal fear and protection.

This is where I began understanding the mind/body connection. It was not in a state of equilibrium but in a state of dysfunction. It is in states of dysfunction of the mind, body, and soul where disease occurs. The tightening can be anywhere within the body. The more I allowed myself to sit with the pain and discomfort the more I realized I had complete control over my fear. I didn’t dismiss it OR think that I couldn’t feel it OR judge it that I shouldn’t be feeling it. I just felt it. I did this with certain fears and eventually after 3 days of sitting with it I felt an actual energy within my physical body unfold from what felt like a knot and disappear. Complete expansion and inner freedom was felt after.

I wanted to understand the mind more deeply so I slowed that process down. I asked myself WHAT IF? What if I visualized myself in the moment of fear and I saw a door up ahead that symbolized what was beyond this moment? I walked to the door and opened it up. There was nothing. I looked back at where I was and all I saw was a big ball of chaotic energy. I realized in that moment we create what we feel in the moment with our mind. I had a choice….either stay within the fearful chaotic pictures of the past events in my mind OR walk through the door to the nothingness because ultimately the experience wasn’t happening because at that moment I was in my apartment by myself. I was dragging the past with me into the present moment. I guess you could say it allowed me to see from an expanded point of view.

Fear has become my friend and my purpose for growth and living and it has been my complete downfall. I wish I could say I have it all figured out but I don’t. I have begun to understand and undo a process that this life has deeply engraved into all of us starting as a child because we are born into a society that is based on fear and perfection. My peeps have taught me that frustration is good and an opportunity for growth and in that moment to not judge but to pause and realize what inside me needs to be recognized. That growth could be anything from lessening control, not judging someone, not taking responsibility for someone else or simply communicating my feelings.

As more people begin to understand their own fear then the world will shift into a world of balance. I encourage you to understand your own Black Moon Lilith and where she fits into your life.

The Pains Of Love



Love is literally a pain in my heart for me. The thought of bearing my soul to another causes the instant reaction of my heart and chest to squeeze and my left shoulder to tighten forward. The left side of the body is the feminine energy and because I have all the physical symptoms of tightness and discomfort it means I have blocked feminine energy. I never quite let any guy know the deep love and passion I have inside for them. This is typical of Scorpios and for people with Black Moon Lilith in Scorpio or the 8th house and lucky me I have both (rolling eyes). It is the traumatic experiences of heart break and the loss of power that makes Scorpio protect and sting. If someone could understand the pain that Scorpio feels you would know it is not a feeling that is easily forgotten or letting go of. It is felt to the very core in the physical body to the depths of the underworld.

Pluto represents Scorpio and he loves to live in the dark and make demands on the people that visit him. So why would such a character, planet, or energy exist? Because this energy represents extremes, where there is dark there is light. Where there is death there is birth. It is about transformation from what was to something that is new and pure. The lesson with Pluto/Scorpio is about letting go of what no longer serves you and understanding why it no longer serves you. Nothing in life stays the same from the moment we are born until death. It is an ever-changing scene from a book with each chapter beginning and ending. The pain or discomfort occurs when we are in a new chapter but still holding on to the last one.

Scorpio energy is about the purification process. It is about understanding the fear that blocks a person from living out their own truth that comes from their soul. It is about understanding the psych and what we do in the physical world to distract ourselves from really living life to the fullest. Typically, this comes in the form of addictions, obsessions, and compulsions.

 I’m ready for love and bearing my soul to another. I want to purify the fears that hold me back so I sat with the pain to figure out it’s origination. I have 3 ways to open up to communicate with my peeps for guidance. Astrology, dreams, and music. When the emotion is too intense it is hard for me to stay in a space of the higher mind and to openly hear what they have to say. Music has a flow and it allows my energy to open up as opposed to my muscles clenching to hold on to the illusion that I am protecting myself from more pain.

It started with the song “Silence” by Sarah Mclachlan. The lyrics:

“Heaven holds a sense of wonder and I wanted to believe that I’d get caught up when the rage in me subsides.

In this white wave

I am sinking

In this silence

In this white wave

In this silence

I believe”

Sarah’s intense emotional singing in this song allowed me to go deep in to the rage I feel from the deceit from past relationships. It is in the silence I feel the pain and torture. At this point I was feeling a full-on pain in my heart. It was squeezing so hard it felt like it was going to stop beating, my chest was tight and it was difficult to breathe. The physical symptoms were representing the death I feel from being disconnected to my soul’s natural way of living.

Next a soft flowing angelic song played and at the same time I began seeing a vision. My friend Bill was video recording me as we have currently been doing of me sharing my experiences. He asked me to describe the pain. I said it was sharp and piercing. My chest was tight and it was hard to breathe. My heart felt like it had cracked down the middle. He asked how do you fix a cracked heart. In that moment I energetically put the heart back together to make it whole again. When I did that in this reality I began filling up with an energy. An energy moved from my heart space up my throat and up into the middle of my head. I began feeling light headed like I was going to pass out. The energy moved up through the top of my head. I felt healed!!!!!! There was no pain in my heart, my left shoulder was back and in balance with the right one, I felt solid and whole, and I felt at peace.

Right after the song “Cracks” by The Freestylers came on. The lyrics:

“Leave the past behind, just walk away

When it’s over, and my heart breaks

And the cracks begin to show”

I thought I was healed and I had discovered the healing modality for a broken heart until my peeps showed me Robert Smith, the inventor of Faster EFT. Some years back I took a 4 day course with him where he taught belief systems, pain connected to the mind, and healing techniques. He always irrorated that it will get worse before it gets better and that is exactly what happened. That same day it took one moment of seeing betrayal only for me to drop harder and faster into the fury.  The physical heart pain was back.

The physical pain in my heart was associated with a trembling and cold sweats. I was allowing my emotion and mental state attack my own body. Nobody was doing this to me BUT ME. The guy wasn’t in the room with me making me drink the poison. I was giving myself the permission to poison my body. I had to reach out on the HELP hotline for a new perspective so I called fellow psychic colleague Jessica Zavala.  After some back and forth discussions I realized it was my sun and Venus in Scorpio in the 5th house of Leo. My pride.

Every sign has it’s positive and negative attributes and for Leo the positive is passionate love and the negative is pride. This is my north node energy which is what I came to this world to learn for my soul growth. My south node is in Aquarius which means when things are not flowing right my tendency is to detach, shut down, and rebel. This energy is also connected to my Black Moon Lilith in Aquarius in the 8th house of Scorpio. The rebel who feels nothing and will let it all go in a snap. Yup that’s me!

The truth is I want to feel, I want to stay connected, and I want to love. I just had to slow the process down to understand my own dynamics for me to see and feel the process. I’ve always had it down in concept but because I took the time to feel the pain all the way through I could now understand all the way in to the deep feeling crevices in my soul. This past year was the year I would encounter the blockage the most because BML was conjunct my natal sun and Venus in my solar return chart. This is a chart that is done every birthday used to describe the energy from one birthday to the next.

It brings me to the question….WHY are we so afraid to feel the pain all the way to the source of it? Where are we taught to disengage and replace with the feel-good things? Is it family and institutions that say don’t make a scene because it disrupts the flow for everyone else? Is it in the constant reminders of advertisements that we should buy a product to feel like we are on top of the world, or the fashion magazine that says wear these clothes and you will feel cool, or drink this alcohol beverage and life becomes a paradise???

I feel blessed that my peeps had me take the path of purity for 3 years. No boyfriend, no sex, no alcohol, no shopping, no meat, there was nothing but me in that time. I learned to find inner happiness and I learned to have fun just sitting still with nothing else in the room.

Healing comes from within. There is no magic pill. Until a person understands their own dynamics and implements the knowledge into life there will be constant dysfunction. It is not someone else’s fault to blame but our own growth in understanding where we undo our self. If everyone understood their astrology chart and sat in the silence and felt the pain then life would have an opportunity to open up in profound ways. You don’t have to do it alone that is why there are people who understand the process and can help guide you.

I had an amazing mentor share the quote by Lao Tzu “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” Find the courage within you to take the first step in living life with inner freedom to live out your dreams!

I can say I literally wrote this from my heart and soul! <3

The Creational Fear



In the astrology chart there are two areas that represent the fear a person will experience within this life. The subconscious and the primal fear. This fear is important information because the path to becoming fully conscious and living a life of happiness and freedom is the dissolution of the fear and the marriage of the subconscious into consciousness. The fears are like an onion with each layer representing a memory or event that is continually played out in life. The deeper the layer the deeper the wound and the more the physical effects take hold. The prize is in the center of the onion which is the place of creation. It is a place where life can be directed and lived out by the person instead of by the parameters set by the original template of the astrology chart at birth. All the scenarios, situations, and trauma were for a reason. It was a map for a person to get to the treasure deep inside of their soul. Life of a victim then transforms into a life of empowerment.

At the beginning when my peeps were teaching me astrology, I was told not to follow any specific type of astrology because it would limit the information that I needed to understand a process. This process would show that astrology was a template of life and that eventually life could be lived beyond the influence of the chart. I now understand that this astrological process and how it relates to fear and creating.

One of the locations of the fear within the chart is the 12th house. This is the house of the victim, unseen, subconscious, dreams, fears, and the place where a person “undoes” themselves. This fear is a subconscious fear which means that it is played out in situations in life without the person being aware of it. If natal planets land within this house, then the planets add another dimension to this process.

I have noticed a pattern with myself and with working with other people that when the person is ready to face their subconscious fears then nightmares begin to happen at night. These nightmares highlight the subconscious fear that person has yet to master in the waking life. It allows a space for the person to encounter the fear but also walk away to analyze the information in a connected yet detached manner. The more a person understands their fear then the dreams begin to shift and what made the person feel like a victim prior then shifts the dream to a situation of empowerment overcoming the evil villain, the crashing car, the snake, or the situation of falling off of a cliff.

The more I faced my subconscious fears the more control I have in my dreams to the point where I am aware that I am in a dream. If something is scary I can say “I am in a dream and I want to wake up” and then I do. My dreams have gone from evil spirits who wanted to consume me to now dreams of flying with super human powers. Dreams have become over time another language for me. It is in this space my peeps can answer questions for me when I can’t get within the void in my waking life due to an overwhelming feeling of emotion. As time has progressed my dreams have literally become my reality and the 2 worlds have become one. In the past I would have dreams with uncomfortable endings or something fearful taking place. When it played out in my waking life I would be waiting for the uncomfortable ending to happen but it didn’t. Why? Because I am willing to face the subconscious fears and therefore I don’t need to continue living them out in my waking life.

The other fear within the chart is Black Moon Lilith. She is primal and the fear that is felt outright that no one can deny. She leaves a person feeling helpless and with the constant reminder that “oops I did it again.” Unlike the subconscious fear of the 12th house that can be healed with an easy flow of releasing, BML is a conscious in the moment realization of an untamed inner child whose reactions are an effort to protect itself. She will rear her head from different angles until the fear is married into the light. It took me patience and slowing down the process to understand at a physical level where these reactions begin.

By starting with the discomfort of the physical body I was able to break down into the emotional body and then into the spiritual body. This primal fear was my road way into the very core of who I was and as a result I was able to experience the place of creation within. I was able to understand the mind, body, soul connection of the fear and then I entered a place where I could see how my thoughts created my reality. I was able to understand from a feeling perspective that the astrology chart was my guide to this place and that I now I have the opportunity to transform my life from the story of a victim into a Cinderella story with the happily ever after.

Understanding fear, consciousness, and subconsciousness is a process of understanding the balance of duality into one. It is the dark/light and the masculine/feminine. It is bringing into focus what separates me from feeling complete and whole within. I recently came into the realization that I had experienced the light, dark, masculine, feminine, and the 2 fears in a beautiful laid out plan in the last 7 years. My little sister moved a couple of my knick knacks that I bought 3 years ago from Jerome, AZ. They were little skeletons with playful costumes. I thought they were adorable but my family who was with me when I bought them thought they were strange and different. I remember pondering the thought why do people fear the dark, death, and fear itself which made me want to understand. I now realize that the 3 years that followed were all about those themes. The stars aligned for the perfect opportunity for me to dive deep into my BML primal fear because she was transiting all my natal planets in Libra and Scorpio.

I believe it is a natural process for people to turn to the light when they are in search of spirituality but a person can’t fully understand the light without the dark. There has to be a balance and marriage of both. As I think back to the process I experienced, how I experienced it, and with who I experienced it with a beeming smile of love lights up my heart. I couldn’t have asked for anything better. Bringing myself into the current moment, I am going through the final steps of marriage of the dark/light and masculine/feminine. The following astrology aspects play this energy out:

YOD in my progressed chart with the moon at the apex

3 months of a Kite formation in my lunar return chart with Jupiter and Moon at the opposition point

Natal sun/moon midpoint at the YOD activation point

Natal Mars at the YOD activation point

Venus return ascendant at YOD activation point with descendant conjunct Moon apex

What is a YOD? I wanted to understand the meaning. In astrology, a YOD aspect is called “The Finger Of God”. This aspect means that it is destiny for a person to fulfill the energy for God. The word YOD itself depicts something of the geometry of creation. The letter YOD, being the smallest of the Hebrew letters, is also a picture of humility. I conclude that it is no coincidence that I am coming to the full understanding of life and creation.

The sun/moon midpoint are two points in the astrology chart completely opposite of each other. It is the halfway point between a person’s natal sun and moon. The sun represents the masculine and light. The moon represents the feminine and dark. This point is where they meet in marriage to balance each other out.

To further describe the energy above it contains Mars and Venus which are the lovers of the zodiac. Laura Eisenhower refers to all this energy as the Venus transits. She states that the Venus transits are a path to ascension. Over a year ago I had been dialed into Venus and the transits she was making in my chart and then Laura Eisenhower validated what I had been taught by my peeps. What better way to inspire someone to go beyond their current level than to use LOVE. Venus is all about love and she will do anything for it. Mars is her partner and together they are the masculine/feminine. What inspires me to understand more is LOVE. Venus is heading into the home stretch and the balancing of energy to become ONE is my in the moment love story waiting to unfold.

To be continued….

The Heart Of The Matter



My peeps taught me I have to be at a minimum in the heart space to connect to higher knowledge. The heart space contains love, compassion, and understanding. To enter into a state of love, compassion, and understanding I had to let go of the subconscious and primal fear and then add trust and belief in a higher power. This process is an alignment of the mind, body, and soul. Within the physical body we all have an energetic body. Part of this energetic body consists of 7 main chakras with the bottom 3 charkas containing fear and survival mode.

When these bottom chakras are triggered into a state of fear I can feel it in my physical body in the abdomen area as tightening, squeezing, or fluttering. When my lower chakras are blocked, then the flow of energy upward blocks as well and then creates a situation that limits the amount of information from higher realms. For me a spiritual way of living on a daily basis is by receiving guidance that has a magical way of unfolding; rather than being in a state of fear where I tend to try and force things to happen.

In 2014, for 3 months I typed the knowledge my peeps shared with me. It was the newly created belief system that I was to implement into my life to connect to my “spirituality”. I honestly have no idea if all the information is correct but the pure basis of connecting to the heart does have a profound connection in my everyday life. Here is an excerpt from the 2014 writing.

6/9/14

Control the heart beat and then control emotions and ego. Sitting in the silence is a way to control the heart beat by having it slow down. The heart controls the temperature of the body and when emotions flare because the heart is beating faster, then the body temperature rises. The heart pumps out blood and if the blood is pure then the rest of the body becomes pure. Knowledge is spread throughout the body by the blood. Osmosis of the etheric connection is how the body receives this information. That is why hydrated tissues are needed. The heart space is an energetic space where a chakra resides but it is also where the physical heart is maintaining the actions of the body. It starts with oxygen which the heart uses for purification throughout the body. The oxygen contains a molecule that when broken down is part of the holographic universe. To connect to this molecule in intention can then transform what it is you seek to change. It can break down blockages and it can build anew. Utilize it to change behavior patterns or to create new patterns. The hearts beat is in rhythm with different frequencies depending on the situation. Ultimately the goal is to keep the rhythm at a steady pace at all times because it is then the person has mastered their emotions and have connected to the rhythm of the universal love. Breath transforms the rhythm therefore in a situation that would typically increase the heart rate remember to breathe and focus on the heart instead of focusing on the situation because reactions are based on upon beliefs taught and from ego reactions learned through experiences. The process is multiple actions going on at once. Start by having the intention every morning to recognize the heart in all situations. From there you will start to notice patterns. From this point, breathe in with intention to slow the heart rate and to connect with the universal love. It may feel like being pulled from the body to now see the situation from a soul view as opposed to being within the physical body feeling the emotions and having the ego reactions. With time, this will become the new process and life with change becoming more pleasurable and peaceful. It may even begin with practicing while sitting in the silence to connect with the universal love in a more quiet setting to become aware of the feeling. However you may choose the end result will be of peace and transformation. Peace within is peace without. Take a moment to see memories, people, or emotions that you tend to avoid or push aside and try this technique to move through instead of avoid.

“It may feel like being pulled from the body to now see the situation from a soul view as opposed to being within the physical body feeling the emotions and having the ego reactions”.  I can feel when I move into the higher mind. It is a literal pull up and a shift in thinking to see the situation in a way that is for soul growth. The emotional charge of the situation dissolves into knowledge. Knowledge then turns into understanding and compassion. This is exactly what my peeps mean by living at a minimum in the heart space.

How does this apply to me now? I have mastered the life of an independent woman moving along life carefree as the wind. It is easy to stay open and stay in the heart space because it is only me I have to think about. Now add a guy to the mix and my normal carefree flow is interrupted with fears from my Black Moon Lilith squaring my sun and Venus in the 5th house of love. Love, compassion, and understanding can quickly turn into fear and protecting. If love is the gateway to an expanded way of living then I have to master the process to understand love in its various forms. This has been a 7 year process for me. The first 3 years were in the light, the next 3 years in the dark, and the past year has been the balance of both.

To understand the energy of my story for this lifetime on a more deeper level I looked to the Sabian Symbol. A Sabian Symbol is like a riddle that describes what type of energy that will be played out when a celestial body is located at the specific degree in the astrology chart.

The Sabian Symbol for my BML:

A woman disappointed and disillusioned, courageously facing a seemingly empty life.

Capitalization upon misfortune by which spiritual justification is gained. Supremacy over experience. Inward retirement.

The Sabian Symbol for my Sun:

A woman drawing aside two dark curtains that closed the entrance to a sacred pathway. Courage needed to enlarge sphere of being. Readiness to press beyond self. The “woman” within, opening the gates to Spirit.

The Sabian Symbol for my Venus:

Obeying his conscience, a soldier resists orders. Conflict between old and new perspectives. A willingness to face chaos for the sake of a new order. Yielding to emotions. 

The Sabian Symbols further iridate that it is through conflict and courage that I connect to something that is new and spiritual. The energy of my BML is heightened currently because the transiting south node is within 3 degrees of her. This means I have an opportunity to understand this energy into its very core for 2 1/2 months. It is through patience and being consciously aware every moment that my choices and actions are creating the desired outcome. It is a breaking down of the process by belief system, physical reactions, mental thought process, energetic feeling, and intention that I am slowly transforming the energy that I was born with into an energy that can free me beyond anything I have experienced in this lifetime so far.

If life is about the heart’s rhythm and breathing, then it is comparable to giving birth and each moment is about birthing a new way of living.

The Feeling Flow

Redondo Beach, CA July 2017



Have you ever noticed that sometimes life just has a flow where everything aligns and there is a peace even when a disruptive event takes place? It’s in that feeling flow that I know life is good. When that feeling flow is disruptive then it’s like an energetic road block has been placed in front of me. In that moment I have to figure out where the blockage is coming from. Belief systems, emotions, fears, and ego all coexist to show us where we can break apart the blockages within to experience inner freedom of that flow.

As I am entering the home stretch of Moon apex YOD and Moon/Jupiter opposition Kite formations I am realizing the feeling flow more and more every day. The moon represents feminine energy, physical home, inner home, emotions, feelings, and nurturing. She embodies the fluid we live and feel by. When the inner waters are a calm flow then life has a calm flow.

This past month in my Lunar Return I had Jupiter conjunct my Lunar Return Moon in the 3rd house. I was gifted the opportunity to understand how my belief system from childhood affects me in the present moment. These childhood events involved boundaries, being in a safe space to openly express my feelings, and power struggles. It was information that I had recognized before while working with the light, working with the dark, and now integrating the information by balancing into a way that is creating an inner peace and flow that I am living out in my life.

The past few months I also have encountered the energy of the moon by moving my physical home, changing the response to my emotions, and nurturing in a new way. With fear, I focused on the physical pain or discomfort within the body. With blocked flow of feeling energy, I had to slow down my life and pull my energy back within myself and sit with it. I had to remove all distractions and focus. I realized that when I had blocked feeling flow energy everything felt like it was pulling on me from the inside. This included people, electronics, and anything that could be a distraction. I felt like I was being pulled in all directions except the one that was aligning to my own flow.

To heal this, I visualized a magnet inside the core in my abdomen. As I inhaled I visualized pulling all my energy back into this core area. I did this a few times until it felt like I was whole and complete and all my energy was filling any available space within my physical body. I noticed a shift in the way I felt and in my thinking process. I felt strong again, connected to myself, and calm.

I wondered if my peeps had anything to say about this so I looked back to the writings from 2014.

8/18/14

The ego is what causes the issues of discontent, unhappiness, and judgement. The basis of all beliefs are connected to the ego and emotions which essentially are the same. The ego and emotions are a fluid vibration on the outside of the physical body that when triggered can cause a reaction within the physical body. When the fluid vibration is triggered with a sad moment it then permeates the body causing tears. When a person is shut off from the world it causes a barrier as not to feel or allow the vibrations within the body. As we make the conscious decision to open ourselves to our true authentic self then we allow this fluid vibration to remain open but without reaction to the physical body. Events will happen which will cause emotional responses but by utilizing the knowledge that the ego/emotions do not have to affect the physical body, a person then can begin to live a life of freedom with easier expansion of higher vibrations.

 This fluid vibration is combined with the person’s magnetic frequency which begins at birth based upon the stars and planets with the sky also known as astrology. This frequency changes over time with the transitory planets, points, and asteroids placed within the chart as they connect in aspects to the natal planets. With knowledge, this change can be an easy transition into the peaceful state of divine within. Everything on the outside is transitory which means nothing will stay the same. The only constant is the connection to divine within. With the understanding, that nothing stays the same and we are here for growth can help aid in the transition from the past beliefs where everyone should follow what everyone else is doing to the new way of living according to your own beliefs and truths.

Begin by sitting in the silence and focusing on the breath which will in turn connect a person within instead of what is happening on the outside. By calming the inner vibration it then forms a protective layer outside the physical body which then can transform the fluid magnetic frequency that of the emotions/ego. What is in the outer fluid magnetic frequency attracts the experiences into the life of a person. Once we are able to separate ourselves from the ego/emotion we are then able to live within the body connected to our soul which is of purity and love. 

I combined my own experience with the knowledge my peeps taught me and I had a profound shift in my everyday life in all situations. I was able to stay in a space of an open feeling flow without guarding myself when it came to my intimate relationships. As I stayed within my inner home, each situation became a positive experience regardless of the outcome. There was no reason for me to have fear or worry because each time I did I would pull my energy back within and the shift would occur making everything feel solid, complete, and whole again. I no longer needed to go outside of myself for answers or make anything happen because everything had a way of magically aligning itself.

These experiences taught me about the feminine energy. It is the true connection of the feminine energy that is taking place within me as opposed to the concept or belief of what feminine energy should be as we are taught from an early age by different structures and institutions. This feminine energy is bold and courageous and willing to go to the ends of the earth to what it believes to love and nurture. It is fearless in speaking truth. It holds an energy and presence that allows another to know what it wants and how it feels. Feminine energy is a presence and flow whereas masculine energy is action and doing. I used to think that feminine energy was an action that had to be submissive and weak. It is no wonder I fought against that concept with masculine energy to allow myself the space and time to understand what it is I believe feminine energy to be. It is of love and she controls the true flow in the world. So simple yet so powerful.

Never Ending Transformation

Mt. Shasta, CA October 2017



Astrology and past lives can be a taboo subject. Growing up I never heard much of past lives but I definitely believed in Karma. Not sure I understood the word Karma but I did notice an instant action/reaction in my life when I did things that weren’t aligned with truth and integrity. By my 20s I thought twice before taking certain actions because after seeing patterns I knew something would happen in return and not to my best interest. I later learned in Astrology that I am held to high karmic standards because I have a lot of Scorpio energy. That energy says I already past the tests and experiences of life in past lives and now I’m here to share that knowledge with others.

In the past I would have readings done and the reader would bring up the topic of past life and each time I would question how they knew the information. Was it real? How do they know if it can’t be proven physically? With astrology I learned it is possible to prove physically.

I was at a conference in Mount Shasta where I experienced that familiar feeling of knowing someone in the first meeting as if I had known him my whole life. His name is B.

The second day driving to the conference I was told that it was B driving in front of me. We pulled off to park our cars and sure enough it was B. We talked all the way to the conference since the parking was quite some distance from the actual event. The whole time I was baffled like I knew him as if he was my brother and we were seeing each other after a long break.

I asked my peeps who this guy was to me and I was told he was my brother in a past life and that I should ask to read his astrology chart. B graciously agreed and to my astonishment he was my sibling from a past life. In astrology, when a person’s Mercury conjuncts the other person’s south node it then represents siblings from a past life. It was no wonder he felt familiar to me and how could I doubt this was really the case.

The story became more interesting because a year later I was suppose to give B an updated astrology reading. Since the first time we had met I had noticed that it was becoming more difficult to share things with him verbally and it was causing me to feel sick. There was a strain and what felt like a blockage in my throat. Prior to the phone call I knew the information I wanted to share for the most part with the exception that his solar return chart showed that his mother would be passing away. I struggled with the concept and whether I wanted to share the information. People tend to be afraid of information like death and question whether the reader made it happen.

As my peeps have taught me “fear is the lack of knowledge.” Belief systems throughout time have instilled a fear that striving to understand the unknown is taboo and that only institutions and privileged people are allowed to obtain this information. The struggle to speak my truth or remain silent was an issue. My north node is in Sagittarius which says that I should always speak my truth and live out my own belief system for my soul’s growth. I chose not to speak my truth and I became ill with a sore throat and headache.

Feeling sick I had to cancel the scheduled reading. The next day I realized this was a pattern that related to the past life. I asked to see the past life and it was revealed to me in a vision with hills, the woods, red flannel shirt, lumberjack, black kettle over a fire, smooth stones from a stream and the traumatic event of a big bear coming into the yard and ending B’s life. I saw it but a sound didn’t come out of me because the fear had paralyzed me on every level. Mercury in astrology represents siblings but he also represents communication and because B’s Mercury is on my south node it means he will help me with communication in this life time. After the vision I heard that the healing from the past life would involve me stepping into my identity and communicating with confidence and for B it was about the understanding of death. 

That day I gave B the reading I shared the past life and the information regarding his solar return, Mars return, and natal chart. He was mostly quiet taking in the information but I noticed he wasn’t quite himself. The reading was cut short and scheduled for another day. The next reading, he apologized for being off because he had just received news that his mom was diagnosed with end stage lung cancer.

The vision of the past life combined with astrology had proved to be correct. I had struggled to share the information regarding his mom which was the communication breakthrough I was going to experience with him. The energy in his return charts were all about the Scorpio/Pluto energy which is about life, death, and the circle of life.

Being able to experience the past life, this current life, and then his mom passing on allowed me to understand on a deep level that there really are no endings but a transformation of the energy. Life is a constant transformation and it is the holding onto something longer than we should that causes the discomfort and pain whether this is a belief system, person, or event. Only and if we are ready to release and transform can peace and comfort take its place and the actual lesson of life be understood. What if instead of viewing endings as something sad or painful, be grateful for all the blessings and teachings because in the expanded view it wasn’t a true ending.

Creating A Language From The Stars

Iceland 11/10/17



0 and 29 degrees are critical degrees in an astrology chart. When a natal planet, luminary, or point lands on these specific degrees, it explains a person’s purpose on a more detailed level. 0 is the beginning and 29 is the ending. The degrees speak of past life familiarity with a purpose to continue in this life to create something new or complete what wasn’t done in the previous lives.

I have Mercury at 0 degrees Scorpio and Uranus at 29 degrees Libra. Although the planets are in different signs they are 1 degree apart. Essentially, they are what is called conjunct. They are united, blended, and work together. They are the rulers of my south node which are the behaviors and talents from past lives that I brought into this current life.

0 degrees says I am starting a new beginning with Mercury’s energy. I am bringing forth some knowledge that is from past lives and have free reign to explore new aspects of Mercury within this life. Mercury’s energy is about communication, language, and sharing a message. I find it entertaining that in this life people would comment on the way I communicate. It was either too loud or too enthusiastic, and never quite “perfect” for whatever the situation may have been.

Having Mercury as my south node ruler says I already mastered the perfection of being socially conscious while communicating with others. In this life I get to speak my truth in any way I choose with the exception of in anger. That used to be a challenge because I would hold back from speaking my truth so I wouldn’t hurt someone else’s feelings. In the end, it only built up pressure and what happens when pressure builds up, it explodes. To help step into my voice I got a voice coach. This allowed me the space to strengthen my vocal cords and connect to my throat chakra. Next step of my journey is to communicate a message.

29 degrees says I am completing the energy that Uranus encompasses. Uranus is about astrology, cosmos, frequency, intuitive foresight, creative genius, and the planet that connects us to our own higher consciousness. This energy is the rebel energy that fit me well for many years. I fought being put into societies boxes and structures that didn’t resonate with me. I rebelled just to rebel because as my south node and BML ruler that is what came natural to me.

During the summer of 2014, my peeps said it was time for me to come to peace with my rebel side. That is when I learned about the Anaretic 29 degrees. It is said to be chaotic, unknowing, and unstable. All signs, planets, and houses in astrology have higher and lower attributes to describe their energy. The Aquarius/Uranus energy could have rebel as a higher attribute but because my south node is in the 11th house of Aquarius being a rebel in this lifetime will not bring me the benefits of soul growth. I was told I had to redirect the energy into one of the other higher attributes.

I chose to combine my intuition and astrology to inspire me to connect to my higher consciousness. From the first day I heard my peeps describe the energy in my astrology chart, they said that I was to never learn a specific type of astrology because we were going to use it in a new way. It wasn’t until I redirected my energy that I was able to truly connect to what they had told me. Currently, I am still in awe of the process we use to help me and others understand ourselves and life on a deeper level.

Like my BML, my 29 degrees Uranus involves emotions and relationships as the gateway because it lands in the sign of Libra in the 4th house. Throughout time I came to the realization that each sign, planet, and house has a process which correlates to a person’s spiritual evolution. It begins with the basic astrological energy that most people correlate with and most astrologers write about in astrology forecasts. The basic energy becomes a doorway that once the person understands, heals, or masters then a deeper energy is available for a person to evolve.

It is like the analogy of an onion in regards to fear, where each layer of the onion represents a form of the fear. Each layer is peeled off when a person understands and heals and turns the fear into wisdom and knowledge. This process occurs until the core of the onion. For example, for the 4th house energy, people tend to think of emotions and the physical home. But on a more advanced level for spiritual growth, that energy is a doorway into the inner home which is the connection to the divine.

To assist me in the process of connecting to my inner home I was guided to a Native American symbol in a book that help slow me down to enter a slower conscious state instead of an emotional reactive state. I used astrology as a tool to time events that would trigger my strong Uranus energy of detaching and rebelling.  The most consistent time was when the transiting moon traveled through the houses of my north node and south node. During this transit period, a person typically is more inclined to react emotionally with the south node beliefs and behaviors. The ultimate goal during this time is to incorporate the north node attributes. This transit can be applied for everyone

I always ask two questions…WHY does something happen and HOW can I transform it? These are questions that represent my Uranus and Mercury. Uranus wants to know why something is the way it is and wants to improve it for the collective group. Mercury is the messenger of the Gods. He brings the answers and solutions from the higher realms. In this lifetime I am creating a new language to communicate with my peeps so they can assist me in my own personal awakening.

Astrology is my primary language. I can understand it on a multi-dimensional level. This language allows me to understand at the mind, body, and soul levels. It is a continual flow of information that can be specific and complex the deeper the information is pulled from the various charts. There is a chart that represents the physical body, mental state, emotional state, commitment, and the list goes on. I am in continual amazement of how all the charts combine to align with events and circumstances for a person’s growth. By understanding the timing and energies I then can align my life with my highest frequency.

Each celestial body in the cosmos is a letter of the alphabet creating words and stories that describe a person’s life.  The various charts for each person align in a way that creates patterns. These patterns are the road map for each person’s individual and unique path for their own awakening. Every choice a person makes connects them with the different frequencies. There are the higher and lower frequencies with the higher frequencies connecting to the person’s true soul path.

Typically, an astrology chart is read in a way that a person will live out the aspects their whole life. My peeps have taught me how to undo the energy until all that is left is the core connection to the creative space within. This is the space of manifesting and creating a life of abundance. A state of empowerment as opposed to a victim of circumstance. The happily ever after of the book of life. The language of all languages that speaks of unity no matter where you are on this planet.

Home Is Where The Heart Is



The moon, 4th house, and the sign of Cancer all represent emotions, the physical home and the inner home. The inner home connects a person to their spiritual world and typically this energy is kept quiet from the outer world. This energy has had a significant impact on my life in the last few years.

I had the first blood moon in April 2014 exactly conjunct my natal moon at 25 degrees Libra in the 4th house. In April 2015 I had a lunar eclipse in my 4th house. On October 2017 the new moon conjunct my lunar return moon exactly at 26 degrees Libra. What does all this mean? It means it was my time to understand what “home” meant to me on a very deep level.

Back in April of 2014, it was a pivotal point in my life. I had moved in with a boyfriend letting go of my comfortable way of independent living and physical home to live my happily ever after. It was a straight up Harry Potter experience that I wasn’t prepared for but a necessary experience to understand life. During the same time the transiting north node was moving through Libra making contact with my natal Uranus and Moon all in the 4th house.

I moved out after a couple of months of living in his home and rented a room. I was left with just basics and no material objects to remind that I had ever lived in my own place. That marked the ending of my physical home and beginning of my new inner home. Stripped down to nothing I started at ground zero. That summer I tuned out the outer world and tuned into my inner world. It was during this time I gained confidence in my ability by listening to my teachers from the unseen world. There was no mistake that what I was experiencing was real and my life transformed profoundly.

Fast forward to February of 2015 I was told it was time for me to go to Asia. I was shown a vision of me going to jail. A snake came in through the bar windows. At first, I was freighted because 1. It was a snake and 2. Because it was a very big snake. I heard my teacher say “become one with the snake”. I did and the snake coiled around me for protection and warmth.

After what was a significant amount of time the snake uncoiled and went through the bars. As it passed through the bars it turned into dust and disappeared. I was free to leave the jail. That same day I researched snake, buddism, and spirituality and I came across Buddha’s 7 weeks of enlightenment. One of the weeks of Buddha’s enlightenment involved Buddha becoming ONE with a snake.

2 months later I arrived in Bali, Indonesia. I was told by my teachers to go to Brahama Vihara Arama Buddhist Temple for mediation every day. Driving up a hill to the Buddhist Temple I saw a tall building being constructed. My heart lit up and at the same time I heard “home”. We pulled into that exact location. I felt at peace and home at the temple.

I spent every day for weeks following instruction from the spirit of a Buddhist monk who had once lived there many years prior. Through meditation he taught me how to connect on a new level to my inner home. This experience and teachings fulfilled my full moon eclipse energy in my 4th house of home.

The recent new moon was at 26 degrees Libra which is my Lunar Return Moon degree in Los Angeles. It is a new beginning for me as I share my journey and experiences that I have encountered in the past years regarding the inner world. The new moon energy aligns with my YOD with apex Moon and 2 kite formations with Moon at the opposition. This combination has brought about an understanding of inner peace and the foundation regarding the growth from the past years on an emotional, physical, mental, and energetic level. It has created a high-level understanding of what is means to be a human and experience life in a spiritual way. It is not a concept but a state of being that can only be experienced through patience and a feeling flow.

In my other blogs I have already spoken about how emotions affect the mental body based on belief systems, emotions affecting the physical body creating discomfort, and how emotions are a gateway to the spiritual creative space. Now I understand emotions and feelings at the energetic level. In the stomach area is an energetic center called the solar plexus. This energy source is a place where a person connects with other people and spirit.

As a medium, every night I power down my chakras so that I can have a peaceful night’s rest without being sensitive to other energies. To close this chakra down I imagine in my stomach area a big bright sun shrinking down to a candle flame. I also use this technique when I am oversensitive to energies around me which can be in large groups of people or being in a highly emotional situation. The solar plexus area is where we create boundaries with people and our surroundings.

Boundaries and speaking my truth are part of my growth in this life. When I was younger I had no boundaries, which would cause uncomfortable situations. Then I learned to exert boundaries on the opposite extreme where I didn’t let anyone get near me or cross lines. When that didn’t feel right anymore I tried to say no by being kind and soft. People didn’t seem to take it serious and would do exactly what I said no to. My response was anger because I couldn’t understand how someone would continue an action I had set a boundary to. I knew I had to figure out a way to say no and have the person feel and hear my truth.

My peeps told me it was how I used my solar plexus energy. By utilizing the same technique I used to power down I was able to control the output of energy when responding no. Most importantly I realized this was the connection space to others.

I used the reverse technique to power up to stay open and connect at a feeling level in situations where I would typically feel frozen or shut down. I stayed within the feeling flow and when there is feeling flow within the solar plexus then the energy could move up to the heart chakra. Like my peeps said I should always be at a minimum of the heart because this is where love, compassion, and understanding reside.

I have come to realize that astrology has layers and a process every step of the way to connect to a spiritual way of living. It is the journey that creates the understanding of these layers and processes not the end result. The layers and processes always begin with a doorway which is an energy on the simple material level that anyone can relate to. Once this energy is understood and mastered then a person can walk through the next door into a more spiritual realm of the energy.

Every astrological sign, planet, and house contains this layering system. This system opens up blockages within that allows the energy to flow freely and easily. This flow of energy can then keep life in a constant flow of connection with people and manifesting. When the energy is flowing freely, a person can stay within the heart space of peace and love and I am not talking about the hippie version. I am talking about the real grounded you have control of the actions, feelings and processes every step of the way.

Anybody can experience this and have the free will of how they want to experience, when they want to experience, and how ever many times they want to go in and out of the process until they are ready to move through the next doorway. With that I say, find the courage within you to open up to new possibilities by having courage to understand your own path and doorways.

Home Is Where The Heart Is Part 2

Starting In 2012 I began finding hearts everywhere. This heart was found in Redondo Beach on my walk.



This was written summer of 2014 as I listened to my peeps. I now realize it validates what I wrote in part one and it is what I am experiencing currently. Back then it was a concept but now it is an-every moment conscious decision in my living experience.

6/11/14

Home is where the heart is as the saying goes. Home is the place we feel the most secure and comfortable. This home may be a land, a place with family, or a physical building. What the saying is really trying to say is home is where ever you are but if you are in the heart space then you are home because the heart connects to divinity. Stay connected in the heart and will not matter where you live or with whom you live with because in the heart there is always peace. Breathe peace within the heart space and everything seems to work out fine. Finding peace within does not need any outside connection for peace within is a connection to a higher source. The purity and love that come from divinity is unlike outer material satisfactions because the connection to divinity is an inner feeling. Staying within your power keeps the connection strong. Therefore if you give your power up then it can impede upon the connection and then inner imbalance can take place. The attempt to overpower people and situations also causes an imbalance because it does not flow with the universe because force due to lower emotions are being applied. Staying balanced within your power allows for an even exchange between the universe and the connection within. Understand that force is not needed to manifest or to be a leader. Stay within your power, create healthy boundaries, and breathe peace into the heart space. If an incident is causing irritation, take the time to understand why and where the growth can take place within the scenario. Familiarize yourself with the different emotions to know where the root cause is coming from because ego is like a tape recorder and will insist on playing the same scenarios again and again until the conscious effort to realize and move through the energy takes place. Living in the moment can help alter the tape recorder of the ego because it does not allow for past traumas or memories to be played in the present moment or for future worry or fear to interfere. Breathing deeply into the heart space can be a reminder that this moment determines what will happen in the next. Being fully present in this moment can have a profound effect on relationships because there is no referring back to old relationships and there is no fear about the future. Connect to the nonlinear time to stretch out the energy in the present space. The space will become more vivid and have a different, lighter density. Changing the vibration within will then change the vibration on the outside. This vibration can then change the dynamic of a situation or of people. It can transform the energy but the person must be willing to change their own vibration. That is why it is important to have a strong aura which can help in creating loving spaces. Our inner world is transferred through the aura. Therefore, the strong and bigger the aura, increases the ability to shift the energy wherever a person may go.

1. Heart beat

2. Breathe peace into heart space

3. Strengthen aura

4. Stay within power

keeping the inner energy strong within the solar plexus. The solar plexus is the in and out source of energy between the inner physical body, the outer physical world, and with the other realms. Keeping above the conscious level courage then calms the solar plexus which then a person can remain within the heart space. All lower emotions below courage are within the chakras from the solar plexus on down to the base chakra. Stay within the heart which then leads to inner happiness and joy because that is where the connection to divinity resides.

1. Breathe into solar plexus calmness

2. Slow down breathing to make the solar plexus heavy

3. Push the energy from solar plexus down the body into the earth

4. Heart beat

5. Breathe peace into heart space

6. Strengthen aura

7. Stay within power

This technique may be used for all emotions associated with each chakra. Each process will follow with the heart because this is the final place and connection to peace and joy.

Earth School And The Big Test



This life we live is all about timing the energy and aligning according to our highest frequency. This alignment is like Earth School. Astrology lays out the course work or classes we will be taking in this life. Once we are here on Earth, our classes are set.  Our choice is how we respond to our homework or avoid it. Each test is a graduation into the next level.

I feel like I’m writing my thesis for my PHD. All the studying and test taking of the past is aligning in a way that unfolds my true purpose of existing on earth. The difference with Earth School from academic school is that it’s hands on and every decision and action affects the outcome instantaneously.

Today there is a grand square in my natal chart with Uranus squaring my ascendant and descendant all while opposing transiting Venus which is conjuncting my natal moon. Grand squares in transits or in a return chart are about change of letting go what is to begin anew. This change affects my identity, my relationships, the home, and my career. This grand square is in cardinal signs and it involves my natal cardinal energy based on houses. That means I am about to begin my journey of completing my PHD that I didn’t finish in a past life.

The energy of cardinal signs also says I have to step into my true soul identity and maintain this within the energies above. This energy will be present in my solar return chart which means I have one year to understand this class. The solar return is a chart that is calculated from one birthday to the next and describes the energy that will be played out within the year. To add to the mix, my solar return has the sign of Scorpio and Taurus in the 1st and 7th house intercepted. This grand square and interception is saying that I have to make the conscious effort to change my life or disruption will take place.

Grand squares are a type of energy that will create a lot of action that will feel like I am being pulled in many directions. I already encountered this energy this past spring and I epically failed. I get to take the class a second time and apply what I learned from the first time. I learned that I needed to bring the energy within me so that I could direct it one direction at a time. All the stress and fear caused me to have adrenal exhaustion. There is nothing worse than to feel like your life is in survival mode and falling apart all while having zero energy to fix it. I will be allowed a third class in case I fail again or to use the energy in a way that will lock it in for optimal growth. It is very important that I pass this class within this lifetime.

My progressed chart

Knowing I have to change I am making the necessary adjustments so that it can be a smooth process. A change in life is not only about physical but also includes the emotional and energetic connections. It is about releasing what no longer works and replacing with something new that can benefit a person’s life. So many times I tell myself what it is I want to let go of but anything that goes has to be replaced with something new. It is important to have intention of what is replacing the old because this is how transformation works. This is the Scorpio/Pluto/8th house energy of death, rebirth, and transformation.

Whenever I know big change is on the horizon I always look for Saturn. He is like the head master of the school and the planet of tests and karma. He will let a person know if they are on track with the maturing process of succeeding in this earth school we are attending. This next year in my solar return I have Saturn inconjuncting my natal ascendant and semi-sextiling my natal descendant. He will be keeping me in check whether I am asking for my personal wants and needs to be met in my relationships as I step into my true soul’s growth.

When I originally wrote this blog, the energy was set up in my chart to shift 2 days later. I was single at the time. The next day my love partner contacted me and we resumed our relationship. This is the beauty of knowing my personal astrology chart. I knew the energy had to bring someone into my life because that is where my growth is within this moment. I have been independent for the last 8 years and now my next part of the journey involves another. Following the spiritual path as an individual is easy but to add another person to the mix is a challenge because spirituality involves staying true to an individual’s growth as opposed to the matriarchal belief system we are taught.

As an individual it is easy to make decisions and execute them because it only involves one person. As a team, there is the communication of speaking and listening with final decisions being made together. Saturn is transiting my natal 6th house which is the house of cooperation, sharing, every day work, and alternative healing. This further explains what energies will be involved in my test taking.

The rules of my test consist of squares, oppositions, and an inconjunct. Typically, in astrology these are considered difficult aspects because they can create stress and uncomfortable situations. My peeps taught me that any situation with stress or uncomfortable feelings is an opportunity for growth and to use the energy in a way that will benefit the growth.

In the past, I would see how these aspects would affect my life in a negative way. As usual I would say WHY and HOW can I transform this. I learned to take the energy in the chart and to be proactive instead of waiting for the energy to make me change. By understanding the signs and houses that will be affected, I could see where in my life the energy would take place.

Squares are a 90 degree angle between celestial bodies or main angles within the chart. A square creates tension for change. It is when a person resists change that this energy is felt in a “negative” way. This aspect can be used in a positive way when used proactively. The energy can be used as a sling shot flying past all blockages and to receive positive results with personal goals.

An opposition is a 180 degree aspect. It is just as it says with the two energies straight across from each other. An opposition is about balance. It is like being on a titor tator with finding the right balance to even both people out. In transit, this energy is perfect for bringing healing and balance. The transiting energy will activate the stationary degree if it is out of balance. By understanding the astrological energies involved a person can be an active participant in their own healing to bring the energies back into balance or to use the energy in a way that can benefit an intention or goal a person is attempting to accomplish by using the higher attributes.

The inconjunct is a 150 degree aspect. An inconjunct is about redirecting, adjustment, and diverting. This energy will never be healed or understood in the outside world. It is redirected, adjusted, or diverted within. It is like seeing a situation differently with each eye. By going within and blending the two views of each eye a person can recreate one new vision with both eyes working together. It is literally sitting with two energies and blending these energies like a marriage. This aspect is one of my favorites because I love the process of shifting my belief system and literally seeing something in a brand new way.

I never was a fan of academic school but I have to say I am loving earth school the more I understand what it is I am here to do. Life has become more interesting and exciting like an adventure. It doesn’t mean I don’t have moments where I want to give up or become emotional. It just means I don’t have to stay stuck in an emotion for years or to keep living out patterns that aren’t fulfilling. I now feel empowered to be the director of my life all while fulfilling my soul’s growth.

Photo taken at The Blue Lagoon in Iceland. After coming back from my trip I realized that I had a pentagon in my chart which is the same shape as my arms in the photo.

All Things Come Together



The YOD I am experiencing is a complicated energy to define. With other aspects in astrology, it is a linear decision to create a plan, take action, and its done. With a YOD there are multiple energies that have to work together all while staying focused on the apex which is the ultimate energy of growth. Below are the energies involved for my YOD within my natal, progressed, and solar arc charts.

                                                                   Moon Taurus 9th house

Natal IC                                                                                     Natal Neptune Sagittarius 5th house

Natal Pluto Libra 4th house                                                 Solar Arc Moon Sagittarius  4th house

Progressed Pluto Libra 2nd house                                     Progressed Mars Sagittarius 4th house     

                                                                                                     Progressed Neptune Sagittarius 4th house

                                                                                                     Natal North Node Sagittarius 5th house

I have the Moon at the apex so to say this is an emotional time is an understatement. The moon is the feminine energy and she is all about feeling and patience. I feel like I am in a constant state of feeling with no break. I am exhausted! I have to wonder how many layers are there to this feeling state?!?! During the first month it was brutal with extreme feelings which Pluto is known for. One minute I was at the lowest of lows and then when I understood the blockage I was beeming at the highest of the high. Talk about whiplash.

The next phase is about Mars. The lower attributes of Mars is survival and defending so it would make sense that I would be experiencing situations involving this energy. If I did not understand the process of Earth School then there would be a high likelihood that I would be freaking out right now. Mars is a primal fear that is easily triggered and he responds without thinking twice. I have had to slow down my mental and physical process even more than I have in the past. From this slowing down, I am finally reaching the feminine energy of the moon. Now I can redirect the energy towards the higher attributes of Mars to create a life that I have always wanted and knew I would receive.

My process involved letting go to come back in a new way. Each process will be different for each person because everyone is here to experience Earth School in their own unique way. My experience has been complete raw emotion felt in dramatic extreme ways but that doesn’t mean someone else will have that same experience. Someone else could have strong Saturn energy which means they will have less emotional experiences with more resistance to change and will experience it over a long period of time. That is why it is never to the person’s benefit to compare themselves to anyone else.

When a person takes the time to really get to know themselves then the focus is kept in alignment with their true soul’s growth. Society tries to teach us that we have to keep up certain images and behaviors to be accepted or to fit in. The people who do connect to their highest alignment are the people who are “succeeding”. They understood where they needed to be and did it. It doesn’t mean follow what they did. It means find where your true purpose is.

This type of alignment doesn’t happen overnight. It is always some form of undoing and then putting the pieces back together again in a new way. Sometimes this involves letting people go, moving locations, quitting a job, etc. Change can only happen when a person is willing to be open to change.

This takes me back to a message my peeps gave me in the summer of  2014. I remembered this part of the writing “Do something new every day to keep the spontaneity moving within your life. Things can’t change unless you are willing to change something first” but I ended falling in love with everything else that was written. It finally offered me that moment to laugh and release all the emotional build up. It’s all about feeling good with being different and being YOU. Enjoy : )

6/4/14

Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with thee. Let there be peace on earth the peace that was meant to be. Peace begins within the heart. Stretch the muscles and allow the energy to flow within the space because within this space is peace and love. Breathe the fresh air and expand the lungs allowing oxygen to enter into the blood. Pure blood allows for a healthy flow of energy throughout the body. Sit in peace to remember who you are. Love will guide the way so allow the flow of the gentle breeze to move through and around you. Like the ever changing world the breeze is symbolic for movement. Stay grounded within the earth for she can offer many a healings. Storms may come but the lightning can bring fast change that could not have come within the stagnant energy that exist prior. Love the change because with it comes new beginnings and exciting adventures. It will help stimulate the senses which cause a rolling effect for more change. Be open to new people because you never know who is here to help you and in what way. Be honest with open dialogue for in that moment may be new knowledge and wisdom to be had. Be forthcoming with your knowledge for you never know when you are the angel sent to help the next person. Be open to beliefs of a new kind because you never know if this is the path you came here to seek. Breathe when a concept does not resonate with you because it may be resistance as opposed to the wrong path. Truth comes from searching for knowledge to understand a concept instead of basing on a belief someone has taught you. They may have learned their truth from someone who based it upon ego. Know that everything just is. Live in the now and know that the future will be bright for the future has not yet happened. Be free in this moment so that there is freedom within the next. Allow for a chain reaction to spontaneously happen because that is where excitement is. Be free to express yourself because then you live truly by your own beliefs and say what comes from your heart. Be compassionate when speaking for it is then that you are speaking from the heart. Do something new every day to keep the spontaneity moving within your life. Things can’t change unless you are willing to change something first. Love all that is because that love is you. Run through the grass and laugh out loud like a child for it will free your inner child which will have a chain reaction with others. Freeing yourself allows others to free themselves because we are all waiting on someone else to be our fearless leader. Take charge of your own life and watch how others want to take charge of their own. Living in the moment is about living in the heart therefore forget about worries and concerns because they will still be there even if you don’t think about them so enjoy what is happening right in front of you. Love is……knowing your friend loves you even after you made a complete fool of yourself. Time does not matter when caring for another because time is an illusion. Smile within your heart and watch your face smile automatically along with it. Rub your belly and say mmmmmmm it will remind of delicious childhood treats…..and then another smile will form. Tap the top of your head and say boogawooga….I bet you smiled again. When you have over eaten call up a funny friend and you will digest everything in no time. The funniest moments in life are the unscripted moments when something doesn’t go as planned. Run down a hill with arms wide open screaming and laughing as you run down. It will free up all the locked up emotions and energy that holds you back from living freely. It will also cause one of those moments that will make you laugh because everyone will be staring at you like you are nuts…hence the unscripted moment. Laugh really loud and point at the person next to you while rolling your eyes like they did it. Love you who are because although someone might not think they love you for who you are, they are actually afraid to love who they are. Just BE.

The Colors Of The Rainbow



When I close my eyes, I see color. The first time I saw color was in 2009 while taking a Dahn yoga class. The movements I learned in class opened up my energy and instantaneously I healed from depression. In one class we had to partner up with a person and share energy. With my eyes closed I saw the color blue. It was a moment that made me go huh. I didn’t judge or question, I only observed. A couple of people in the class shared they were seeing colors and my partner said she saw green. The teacher said that people with trained eyes can see colors. I had never been trained so I questioned whether I was really seeing it. I’m serious when I say that lol. I even questioned if my happiness was real after a couple of classes because a fellow student told me it took time to heal and that my healing was too quick.

Now knowing astrology, I know I have growth in this life with speaking and living my truth within groups. This has happened in all group settings I have encountered. My north node in Sagittarius says that I have all my answers within and I need to create my own truth so of course these type of situations would arise. I also have Saturn in the 12th house which means I have already mastered the unseen which is all things beyond the veil which would explain why I saw the color without ever having been trained.

Typically, I see the color magenta. If I drop out of magenta it changes to red, purple or green. A situation or event with emotional reaction causes the shift in colors. Eventually one day I realized that the colors I was seeing correlate with the colors of the charkas. There are 7 main charkras and the magenta is the 8th chakra which is not connected within the physical body.

It is not often I see green but when I do it is due to heart break. Green is the color of the heart chakra. The color doesn’t last long and I usually don’t see it until after working with the red. The heart chakra (green) has lower attributes of jealousy, abandonment, anger, bitterness, fear, rejection, envy, and conditional love.

I would see the color red during my monthly menstruation or when I was in anger. This would also occur during emotional times that included fear. Hormones have a lovely way of triggering these emotions. The base chakra’s (red) lower energies consist of insecurity, anger, annoyance, irritability, and worry.

Purple is my happy color. The crown chakra (purple) is a conscious alignment of knowledge beyond words or intellect. It is a feeling of empowerment, calmness, and being fully present in the moment.

As usual my two questions were WHY does this happen and HOW can I transform it. I took the time to get acquainted with each chakra. Each chakra contains a color and an emotional energy with high and low attributes. For the most part I feel contentment and happiness so I used those moments of anger and monthly emotional instabilities as my classroom to evolve into a more balanced state. I did this by utilizing meditation and the opportunity of choice. Every time we experience an emotion or reaction it is by choice. Even in the deepest anger due to someone else’s action is a choice. A person chooses to be angry. It is not to say that anger can’t be felt but understanding WHY the anger is happening can unfold a deeper truth.

I combined meditation with choice because meditation takes me into a place within the higher mind. As I allow the truth of why I feel the emotion come forward then the stronghold of that knot or tightening can release. As this unfolding of truth takes place, the angry red transforms into a higher state of purple. This process took time and it is like going in and out of different levels visually, physically, and consciously.

Visually it was like a flipping of color. When I would think of the event that triggered me, it would drastically flip to red. After sitting with the emotion and letting it dissolve it would turn into purple slowly and smoothly. This was a back and forth process until I understood the knowledge of the truth which then allowed me to enter into a state of compassion. The colors appear up front on a black background. To me it looks like a lava lamp with the colors swirling around until I am in a state of peace then it is one solid color of magenta.

Physically when I would be in the red I would feel discomfort within the physical body but most specifically the abdomen area. The abdomen was the main source and would travel to other parts like the neck into the shoulders causing tension. This process made me aware of how emotional responses affect the physical body. After transforming into the magenta then there was complete peace and calmness with zero tension within the muscles.

Consciously my point of view of the situation would shift with each color. In the red it was anger and blame. In the purple it was from seeing with the higher mind and understanding why everything happened the way it did which included my own actions or opportunities for growth. In the higher mind, it is easier to see truth, to accept responsibility, and to forgive. On many occasions I would say to myself “I allow myself to see the truth no matter what it is.” With time, it became easier to see the truth even if it meant things I didn’t want to see regarding situations or myself.

For example, situations that involved a love partner cheating or performing deceitful acts. My BML used to fear this the most so it would cause emotional reactions and I would fall into the red which is anger, insecurity, and worry. To transform the energy into the higher mind I would meditate and allow myself to feel the fear. The not wanting to feel the fear or emotion fed the energy and it would become worse. It would continue to replay the scenario over and over causing anxiety or discomfort. I would allow myself to feel the emotion paying attention to my body allowing my muscles to relax with breathing. Eventually I would enter in to a space where I would come to the realization that the fear was causing some form of attachment.

Currently I am seeing the color yellow due to the Mars energy of the YOD I recently experienced and because I have the Sun, Venus, and Jupiter in my 1st house of my solar return. The first house is ruled by Mars and Mars rules the solar plexus chakra which is the color yellow. I can now use this energy to my advantage to make positive change within my life.

The higher attributes of the solar plexus are feeling positive, whole, self-respect, compassion, personal power, and hope. The lower attributes are feeling powerless, worthless, self-critical, shame, rejected, self-consciousness and the fear of trust in the natural flow. How do I use this? If I am in a situation where I am experiencing the lower attribute energy, I place my attention on the chakra and think of the higher attributes and I become it. For example, if I feel self-conscious then I would put attention on my solar plexus and think about the higher attribute of personal power and feeling whole and become it.

This information adds depth to my journey within Earth School by allowing me to add detail to the big picture. Having the knowledge and understanding empowers me to make decisions in life that can have a positive impact on all my outcomes. I know this process is working because every day my life becomes more of a dream than a drag.

Below are the chakras with their color and attributes:

CHAKRA

NUMBER

COLOR

LOWER ATTRIBUTES

HIGHER ATTIBUTES

BASE

1st

RED

insecurity, anger, annoyance, irritability, and worry

feel secure, connected, supported, strong, trusting and safe

SACRAL

2nd

ORANGE

feel unsure of ourselves in relationships, vulnerability and fear in expressing truths leading to suppressing needs, feeling betrayed, addicted, frustrated, regret, anxiety, stress and guilt

feel brave, passionate, energetic, outgoing, confident, considerate, creative, spontaneous, excited, open, kind and happily connected to life

SOLAR PLEXUS

3rd

YELLOW

feel powerless, worthless, self-critical, fear, shame, rejected and self-conscious.  There is a need to dominate and control from fear of trust in the natural flow

feel positive, whole, self-respect, compassion, self-esteem, personal power, a sense of separate self, confidence, hope and assertive

HEART

4th

GREEN

feel jealous, abandoned, anger, bitterness, fear, rejection, envy, conditional love

feel joy, gratitude, love, unity of divine, compassion, trust, faith, pride, acceptance, inspiration, forgiveness and empathy

THROAT

5th

TURQUOISE

feel powerless to speak out, fear of being judged, rejected and this can lead to feeling out of control, hurt, sad, negative and resentful

feel we can relax, communicate freely, express ourselves, be who we are, honest, truthful, congruent.  Also be silent and intuitive

THIRD EYE

6th

BLUE

reject ideas of spiritual aspects of life, can be in fear of self and others, exaggerate truths, feel volatile, moody and are unable to self-reflect

feel clear, empathic, focused, can determine between truth and illusion.  We are open to receiving wisdom, insight and intelligence.  There is an awareness of a spiritual connective realm beyond the physical.

CROWN

7th

PURPLE

feel confusion, fear, alienation, depression

Conscious alignment of knowledge beyond words or intellect. Feeling of empowerment, calmness, and being fully present in the moment

SOUL STAR

8th

MAGENTA

taking life very serious, everything is a struggle

freedom, forgiveness, and justice

Grandma's Teachings Of Earth School



I am clairvoyant, clairaudient, clairsentient, and claircognizance. This means I see, hear, feel, and know beyond the veil of the physical world. This is what people refer to as the spirit world and other dimensions. These abilities allow me to communicate with my Peeps, Beings, and to humans who have passed on from this living world.

At the end of last year, I had the opportunity to assist my grandma with the dying process by using these abilities. She had Alzheimer’s disease. From a medium’s perspective I could feel there was a disconnection between her spirit body and physical body. It was like she had one foot in the physical reality and one foot on the other side ready to join my grandpa but the place she was hanging out in was no man’s land. This land was filled with past memories that she had held on to as if she never had a chance to express them in this life.

She had been verbally stating that she was ready to move on. I went into meditation and asked to meet with her. I was taken to what felt like the place people experience when they have near death experience. This is what I was feeling and knowing which is clairsentience and claircognizance. She came in along with my grandpa and other family members. To see spirit within meditation or within the physical reality I use my clairvoyant ability. My grandma was easily visible but the family members in the background were less dense which made them slightly see through like typical ghosts would be imagined. Their facial features were not distinctive, but I could tell by the outlines of their bodies and by feeling that they were the brother and sisters of my grandpa and grandma. The family members stood behind her as she sat down and grabbed my hand tightly. I could feel that she was holding on due to a duty of responsibility. I assured her it was ok that everything was taken care of in this life and that all her children were taking on the responsibilities that she thought she still had to attend to. She grabbed my hand harder because she didn’t want to let go. I reassured her again and explained she had to allow her muscles in her physical body to relax so that her spirit body could release. I reiterated to release her muscles in her physical body so she could move on.

At that moment a massive white wave of light came from behind me and swooped all of my family members away. I felt the connection of her and me in that spirit world end along with the energetic connection of her and me in the physical world. She was 2,000 miles away in another state, but I could still feel the ending. I knew that in that moment she had returned back to source.

My dad called to share the nursing home called him to say my grandma had begun the dying process. Later that night my sister and I were texting. She asked if I knew how grandma was doing. I asked my peeps and they said that she had completed the process and moved on. The next day I realized that at that exact moment my peeps told me, was the official time of her death.

This divine energy was beyond powerful, pure, and beautiful. I felt like a grain of sand in a huge massive powerful sea. I almost went into a state of shock for many reasons. I was not expecting the wave to come in because there was no warning or heads up. I had never experienced an energy that vast that it was a lot for my human mind to fathom. My energetic body had expanded beyond my physical compacity. I had been stretched before in my training by my Peeps but this was beyond words. Mentally I thought I was going to crack but I kept hearing “every moment is a choice” and I could freak out to my discomfort or I could ground myself and appreciate the experience. Back and forth I went until my energy came back in and I finally could appreciate what I had experienced.

With all my experiences, I realized that death is nothing to be fearful of because it is a joining back to source. From what I have seen or know so far is that it is a beautiful energy that awaits to take us home. Our true home. This life on Earth is an experience where we have an opportunity to live out situations for understanding our soul’s growth. This Earth School experience is about belief systems, emotions, differences, fears, communication, and the list goes on. We are all here with our own path and our own journey to lead us back to that divine energy or source. How we get there will be different for everyone.

The irony of my medium ability and my grandma is that when I was younger I got divorced. I was the first divorce within the family EVER. She was very upset with me because the Catholic religion didn’t allow for divorce. My life had gone through an extreme change due to a trauma I experienced which then shifted my thought process. I had a difficult time seeing my life the same as I did before the trauma. Something inside of me was telling me it was time to move away and expand beyond anything I had lived so far. I did just that. I got divorced and moved to California.

Astrologically during that time, transiting Pluto was conjunct my natal North Node in Sagittarius in the 5th house of Leo. Pluto is about divorce, death, rebirth and transformation. He all about letting go of what was so that something new that is connected to the soul can come forward. The North Node is a person’s destiny, life purpose, and soul’s growth within this lifetime. Sagittarius involves expansion and growth, religion, spirituality, and a person’s truth.

Leo is the energy of courage, a person’s unique talent, and following the heart.

I think back to that time and how I felt I failed her because I didn’t follow her expectation. As time went on, more and more I knew I had made the right decision for myself because I felt myself expand and grow in ways that I couldn’t have experienced if I still lived in Wisconsin. Moving far way allowed me the opportunity to figure out my own truth and to step into my medium ability without judgement from family or friends. Needless to say, I dropped religion because the religion I grew up with didn’t allow for me to be ME. Instead I followed my heart and my truth which allowed me to help my grandma. What she and I both learned is that we are human, and in the end, love will always win before personal differences.

The Conscious Marriage



I used to believe in Twin Flame relationships. Twin Flame relationships are spiritual relationships where two predestined people come together in divine union to help usher in the new energies of the 5th dimension. It was said that not just anyone was given this opportunity and it had to be accomplished by these chosen two.

I’m not sure if I agree with the concept that it is for chosen people. After reading a few astrology charts, I am seeing that anyone can achieve this just by deciding to live a conscious life. It could be that I am reading for people who are “spiritual” or on the “spiritual path” and therefore they understand the concept of connecting to something bigger and that also allowed for a divine partner.

Instead of Twin Flames I believe in conscious relationships. This means two people who are consciously aware that they have the ability to change and transform their life into something that contains freedom and expansion of truth. A conscious relationship does not follow the typical matriarchal tradition that has been in place for thousands of years. It is not based upon status, money, or material objects as a barometer if the other person is fit for marriage. It is about thinking and living outside of the box with a new belief system of what a relationship consists of. It is about traveling into the core of creation within to connect to the divine and then sharing that energy with another.

This life we live contains many avenues to this core center. Once there then life has a way of unfolding by a natural process as opposed to using force. The astrology chart narrows in on the specific energy and behaviors a person is here to learn and grow to enter within this space. The overall theme and how this will be executed will be different for everybody. The various energies or behaviors are created by 12 signs, houses, planets, and points which can consist of belief systems, religions, communication, creating an identity, helping others, health, and family to name a few. Typically, we are taught that we should only learn from families and institutions and if a person goes outside of these entities then they are labeled as “black sheep”, “troublemakers”, or “difficult”. Using families and institutions as a way to connect to the core center may be the case for some but not for everybody.

As the two people align to their North Nodes and move through the fears of BML and the 12th house subconscious fears, then an inner freedom takes place. What once was a controlled love, now becomes an open love of truth and integrity. The two people are not taking action because it is what is expected of them but because they understand on a deep level what it is to have a connection within. This connection consists of self-love, self-respect, and self-acceptance. When a person trusts in themselves then the action of trusting another follows easily.

We are taught expectations of others but a person should focus on understanding themselves first. If a person understood who they are down to the core and worked on that energy, then they wouldn’t be judgmental or have expectations. When we are younger, we typically pick a partner who fulfills those attributes that we should personally be playing out or are understanding within life.

Relationships tend to begin with excitement but after 3 months that feeling wears off. Why? Because at the beginning a person is fully open letting go of fears and behaviors that typically block them from having a partnership with another. It is by the 3rd month that the South Node, BML, and 12th house subconscious fears come rolling back in.

What I have found from doing charts of couples, is the individual charts will align in a way that these energies can be challenged. The two people have a choice whether they are open for expansion and growth OR if they choose to continue the pattern. If they choose to not move through the energy then a new person comes in to replay the same scenarios until the growth occurs. This process involves responsibility and the conscious decisions to acknowledge the patterns of behavior. Change can only happen when a person is open to change.

Thankfully, my current partner and I were open to transforming. The type of relationship we started with is not the same relationship we ended with after the chaos ripped through like a tornado. This was a process of acknowledgment, communication, forgiveness, patience, and union. 

We each had to acknowledge and take responsibility for our actions. It can be a difficult thing to swallow the ego pill. Trust can cause people to act in ways they wouldn’t normally because it becomes a game of survival. Survival of keeping one’s identity to remain the person they were. Meaning people “think” they want to be in a relationship but still hold on to old ways of talking and pursuing others. Revenge can happen when a person feels the other isn’t giving them enough love and attention. Using tactics, like ignoring the other person as a way to maintain power. All these behaviors can be mitigated by simple communication of truth.

The process of opening up to new levels started with communication of truth involving feelings and fears that caused us to act in a way that hurt each other. We allowed each other the space to be vulnerable to speak and be heard. All guards have to be removed to enter into the heart space. It is only within this space that love, understanding and forgiveness can take place. Even if verbal communication is too uncomfortable, then written communication will work as well.

Forgiveness for our actions that hurt each other. My partner and I have a “skip a step” in our charts. My natal Neptune squares his North Node and South Node. That means we had to heal something from a past life. It is my Neptune energy that had to be healed. Neptune connected to the lower attributes relates to deceit, confusion, and lies. From this energy it can transform into the higher attributes of forgiveness, compassion, and oneness. This is the energy I kept in mind all while working with my North Node, South Node, and BML that were being triggered in transit.

There were moments I wanted to scream and yell out of fear from feeling hurt but that never ends in a happy ending. I had to consciously make decisions to keep the energy at a higher level. I was experiencing a YOD with moon apex which created an energy that was emotional beyond what I typically experience. On the bottom legs of the YOD I had Pluto and Mars. The energy of these planets is about quick deep emotional reactions. Needless to say I was easily triggered by events in life. I feel like a brand new person now that the energy has completed. Life has a new flow and my drive originates from a new space within allowing me to connect on a more deeper level. 

We had patience to allow the other person to process and then decide what was worth keeping or letting go of. My partner is incredibly beautiful for saying “complications make love stronger.” Life is not all butterflies and rainbows as my Dad tells me. I tend to want to see the positive in everything which can be an emotional let-down when someone else isn’t willing to see things in the same way. It is not that I believe there isn’t dysfunction, it is that I believe there are solutions and opportunities to learn and grow beyond the dysfunction.

This also tied into my natal Neptune in Sagittarius which squares my natal Jupiter in Pisces. The higher attributes allow me to see from a higher perspective. The lower attributes can be the emotional let-down when the other person within the relationship doesn’t see or live their life from that same perspective. Instead the person chooses to continue to learn the lessons instead of applying new knowledge and growing. It is then I have to let the person go which was very difficult for me in the past because my BML in the 8th house has a fear of loss. The difference this time around was that I knew this was the energy being played out so I allowed myself to release the attachment and stay grounded within myself. The outcome had a happy ending.

The final result of moving through the energy is union. The coming together was on solid ground with the understanding of what it truly takes to work together as a couple. This time not with expectation but with the openness that each moment the individual needs to be aware of expressing their true feelings and fear without judgement. It is staying in the present moment all while working towards goals for the future. It is remaining an individual while being a couple.

In this life, it is my growth to stay attuned to my individual frequency in all my relationships. Whether this is family, friends, or a partner. The energy I experience now is a continual growth that connects each moment together as opposed to the past repeating pattern of energy connecting then disconnecting.

I always dreamed of having a fairy tale relationship but based on some of my past relationships there were moments I thought I was cursed. According to my chart, that was a possibility if I didn’t take the time to understand the energy. It was always my destiny to reconnect with astrology to understand myself and ascend to a higher consciousness. I now love understanding life and making sense of ideas and beliefs that stop people from living a life of freedom. My hope is that everyone can find their own avenue to find their understanding so that the world can live in harmony with compassion and unity within ALL relationships.

I Believe



Belief Systems….What are belief systems? My North Node is in Sagittarius which means belief systems are going to play an important part in my life. I will have an opportunity to understand what belief systems are on every level. Typically, people who have their North Node in Sagittarius or the 9th house will end up living their life in a different way then they were taught when they were younger. It allows for an understanding beyond the rules or regulations set forth by the past and to see with a fresh new perspective from within. These rules and regulations are set forth from religions, governments, and educational institutions.

My actions create uneasiness in people because I go beyond the boundaries of what it is to make decisions. I will fearlessly go into what is considered an area that shouldn’t be touched or encountered to have an understanding of the truth. For the most part I have noticed the things people fear don’t need to be feared at all. This sense of adventure to understand the untouched aspects of life is also a trait of Sagittarius.

Belief systems are a way of thinking that is then played out in life. For example, media portrays an image of a country or religion that is not good or unsafe then it is very typical for people to believe this concept and then judge in fear that particular country or religion. With the same concept, media can portray your own country as being safe and powerful and yet the actions of the people and government clearly state otherwise.

Sagittarius is also about higher truth. Higher truth comes from within. It is with the intention to receive higher knowledge or understanding that this process unfolds. As opposed to doing something because other people are doing it or because of an institution or government. The more open a person is about acknowledging their own fears and behaviors, the more pure the higher truth becomes from within. This higher truth then creates a freedom from living life in a limited belief system.

As time has passed through the years, I have noticed my own limiting beliefs that blocked me from living a life of happiness and freedom. I find it humorous that in the past when I was younger, I thought I had all the knowledge I needed to understand life. Ignoring what others attempted to teach me I chose to live my own path. This path brought lots of situations that could have easily been avoidable but what fun is that. It was through the interactions of intense situations that helped me to understand why not to something from multiple angles. Ultimately, that has given me an opportunity to explain to someone else a situation in a more detailed way if they chose to seek advice instead of learning through the tough experience. Some would call this stupid or immature. I call it genius.  

I was blessed to have parents that are open minded and allowed me to venture out into life however I chose to. It is not to say that they agreed with my decisions, but the beauty is they didn’t judge me. They allowed me to pursue every avenue of life as crazy as it may have been. For example, flying to Nepal after an 8.0 earthquake or moving to California after my divorce.

The sign of Sagittarius is also known for meditation to enter into a state to JUST BE. Within this state is peace and calmness. To enter into this state a person must undo their belief system that creates the blockages and uncomfortable situations within life. What I have experienced with belief systems is a pattern of thought which triggers feelings and then reactions. Beyond this pattern after allowing fears and blockages to be recognized and then removed, is a state of nothingness. From this level, a new feeling state can be encountered that allows for peace and calmness and to make decisions based on the higher mind and a more expanded point of view. Meditation plays an important role in my everyday life. I have found when I meditate on a daily basis then I live a life of calmness but when I fail to meditate then dysfunction and emotional outbreaks happen.

It is typical for belief systems to be played out merely with a thought process and not beyond this level. For example, people follow religion because it is what they are told to do but don’t understand on a feeling level how this spiritual energy can play out within life. Spiritual energy is not merely an action or thought. It is a state of BEING. Meaning it generates from within as a whole feeling that naturally moves in a direction that is in alignment of a person’s highest frequency.

Belief systems create the world we live in and the actions we take to live life. It is belief systems that create the feeling of being safe and secure. Society is set up that as long as a person is following what they are taught to “fit in” or be a person of their society then they are living a life that is acceptable. The problem with many belief systems is that they cause people to judge other people because they don’t believe the same thing. No culture, religion, or society is without fault so to judge another is pure hypocrisy.

Ultimately, we are all humans with a heartbeat who need food and water to survive. We are all here for our soul’s growth to lead us back to the understanding that we are all ONE. People of every culture and religion can get along as long as they are willing to accept someone wholeheartedly and without making them change into who they want the person to be.

Since I was a little girl I have always envisioned peace among ever body around me. As I have become older I now envision world peace and how I can become a positive influence upon this. It is in every moment when I find myself judging or becoming impatient with another that I choose to understand on a deeper level the belief system that blocks me from living a life of peace with myself and the world. I choose to believe I will make the conscious effort to live my life with openness so that I can embody the attributes of forgiveness, compassion, and understanding. What do you believe?

Forgiveness For Peace



This past full moon was in Cancer in my 12th house. Full moons are typically a time of high emotions and having it in Cancer the sign of emotions and feelings intensified it more. During the full moon the tides are high and the fluid moves with velocity. Full moons are a time of endings and conclusions.

The 12th house also represents endings and letting go of what no longer is needed so that the following month the full moon in the 1st house will bring new beginnings. The 12th house is a spiritual house that represents forgiveness, compassion, and understanding. It is the house where everything is ONE.

The events leading up to this full moon were full of the above energy with the final explosion of energy that can never be taken back. Emotions are a reaction of our belief system and fear is the protection of this same belief system. Anger is fear in its extreme form. It made me aware of how a world with so many different beliefs can easily fight and cause separation. Why do we hold other people to our own standards and how can we unite and still be different?

From my travels around the world I have come to understand how my beliefs and thought process can cause uncomfortable feelings within me. It causes a literal disorientation and nausea when my mind has a hard time grasping the change from being in another country.

For example, in certain parts of the world they drive on the opposite side of the road and the driver is on the opposite side of the car. Same car same road but different side and driver. It took me about a week to adjust. In other parts of the world they use the ending of the alphabet in their words. In America we don’t use the ending as much. Same alphabet but different ends. Some cultures have a strong history and continue that same history into the present. In America, we live in the moment and into the future thriving on the possibility of success through being original and unique. It is all time but different parts of time and ultimately, we are all living here in the present moment.

With all the differences it is no wonder we all think we are doing it correctly or in the right way. My question is: Is there any place or person in the world that is perfect? No, so why do we think our own personal way of doing something is the barometer for the rest of the world.

People and the world are not perfect so why do we pretend that everything should be? By understanding the dynamics of situations and turning it into knowledge allows for an understanding and for the energy to transform into love. Forgiveness of others and most importantly forgiveness of self. It takes courage to admit when a person is wrong or behaved in way that was less than love. It is the removal of pride and ego that allows this process to take place.

The Pisces/12th house energy that we are ONE is not just a concept but an energy within each of us that connects to something bigger. As I took the time to realize and understand the differences then something inside of me started to unfold. My anxiety and nausea turned into an appreciation for our differences. It was like the lotus flower that opens up one pedal at a time with each pedal being the understanding of the differences in the world.

The planet Jupiter is the ruler of Sagittarius and this energy is my North Node energy that I am here to understand within this lifetime. Jupiter is known for expansion and growth, belief systems, truths, and other cultures of the world. I am now understanding on a very deep soul level what expansion and growth is about from my travels and learning about other cultures.

We are all born into beliefs and truths from our families and institutions like religion and school. These groups tell us how we are suppose to live our life through action and behaviors. It is a limited energy that is like a box. As we continue through life it is our experiences that teach us beyond this initial box. Each time we experience and turn this experience into knowledge then the energy grows and expands and with this expansion comes a freedom from within.

The more expanded a person becomes, the more the energy slows down that a person can pause to understand and have compassion and forgiveness at all times. A limited belief system has limiting energy with quick reactions and emotions to defend its stance because it is cramped into a box.

For most people they learn about belief systems through creating families. For me, I was never destined to take that route. Instead I was to go out and experience the whole world and all its different beliefs so that I could have a high-level understanding of life and how it brings us all back to ONE.

Bosnia 2018 A country once filled with peace and unity later devastated by war due to hate crimes by institutions and governments.



If the world held onto every fight, war, or disagreement from history then nobody would ever be talking to each other on this planet. This planet has been all about war and pride for thousands of years and yet people find it within their hearts to come together again. Why does it always seem it is the organized institutions that are at the heart of the separation?

How come we are taught to follow rules of how we should live? It has been my experience that living comes from a place within. It is a natural flow of living from the heart.

How we feel “safe and secure” in the world is based upon our beliefs. This will be different for everyone. For some it will be in the home and for others it is the type of flow of the people around them. Meaning a person that follows the rules will not feel comfortable around someone who is always breaking them. For me I like to stay in a calm continual flow so when I’m around someone who wants to be purposefully disruptive then it makes me feel fearful. This energy is the moon and the 4th house within a person’s natal chart. Typically, we learn this energy from our family.

The more I sit to analyze my behavior and reactions the more I understand that my fear and what I believe creates blockages within my life. My lack of communication for explaining myself leaves the situation open to misunderstandings. My go-to response after not being heard is shutting down and ignoring but this is a form of emotional abuse. It is not my intention to hurt the other person, but I can’t seem to understand how another person can continue to perform an action after I have communicated multiple times to stop the behavior. My only way to cope is to shut down from the emotional overload. This is my moon conjunct Uranus in my 4th house.

I grew up in a home that was more duty/service and less emotions and touchy feely. I didn’t learn how to properly express my emotions and feelings but that doesn’t mean I am a bad person or that my upbringing was wrong. My childhood experience gave me the perfect opportunity to understand emotions and feelings because my Midheaven is in Aries and the ruler of Aries is Mars.

In two separate places in my chart it says that I will feel accomplished in life when I am understanding my emotions. That understanding involves the core root of the response and those core roots come from the past. It could be the past from this lifetime or it could be from a past life. In any case the goal for me is to figure out how the past creates a mental loop that continues to replay in the present moment.

I have Mars in Scorpio in the 4th house. As long as I’m using the situations and experiences as a tool to understand life then I am always golden. There are no mistakes in life and every moment is an opportunity to expand and grow to have a deeper understanding of life. Therefore, have patience before judging someone else because sometimes people have a difficult time understanding their own personal growth.

The compassion of the human heart can change the world. On my travels I have met many angels who made me feel like I was home even though I was in a foreign country. The heart and soul are home no matter where a person is in the world or whether they have a physical home or not. If a person is living life ritualistic or by concept alone then the compassion of the heart goes missing. The heart is full of feeling and it emanates an energy that softens people and the surroundings. I have been both parts of this equation. I have lived without feeling and I have lived with feeling. Feeling will always win.

The energy of the moon and the sign of Cancer rely on the feeling energy. This feeling energy uses fluid as a way to move within the physical body, between people, and between dimensions. It is what creates the connection and unity between people. When a person forces their belief system upon another it disrupts the natural flow of a person. It takes away from the free will that was given at birth. If each person in the world connected to their own individual feeling flow and then emanated this energy then the world would be full of unity.

Maybe I’m the only person who questions this but how come we just follow what we are told? Doesn’t anyone else question the system that has been placed before us? The systems separate people, not create a better world. My favorite 2 words….WHAT IF…..what if the world questioned one belief that was taught to them. Would people finally wake up and realize that the processes of the world aren’t what we thought they were? I hope so because the world is full of love and people who want to live a life of peace and harmony and it is time for everyone to unite as ONE without a rule, law, or government to tell us otherwise.

Because Mercury Says So



The biggest fear among the world is public speaking. People are afraid to make a mistake in front of others. I remember getting in front of the class in high school to give a report with my body feeling frozen as everyone stared at me. There was a huge relief after I was done like life could continue on as if the uncomfortable situation had never happened. As an adult, I had to give brief educational overviews of what coding was to new providers at the hospital. Still frozen and still relieved when it was over like it had never happened.

All the information I shared at the hospital were facts that could be verified from a book or source. I was doing exactly how I was educated so the only pressure was the delivery of the information. My biggest challenge in life with communicating came from speaking my truth and beliefs. In this lifetime I would have to speak my truth and beliefs, but it couldn’t come from facts or books. I had to learn by listening to my peeps who are in higher dimensions trusting and having faith that the information that was coming through was for my highest purpose. This process would be my North Node in Sagittarius.

For some people speaking their truth rolls off the tongue like beautiful music being sung by an angel. For me, it has been the standing in front of my fellow classmates on steroids wiggling, drawing blanks and shaking nervously. I actually had a fear of being killed if I spoke my truth and what I believed. What I believe is not main stream or remotely “normal” or “average”. I have always been the weird one in the family and my truths and beliefs only validate this categorization.

I knew I had to overcome my fear of communicating because it says it in my astrology chart. Anyone who has known me throughout the years know that I didn’t divulge information about myself openly. There were the rare few that I shared my most intimate feelings with. All the Scorpio energy had me on lock down with no one getting in and me not going out. So to say I have gone through an enormous transformation sharing my life on social media and on a website is an understatement. Now all I want to do is talk and not about superficial topics. I want to get into the deep soul connected conversations about life and the experiences we are all having to transform it.

With all these uncomfortable feelings, as always, I asked WHY and HOW can I transform this?

My South Node is in Gemini which means I have mastered the art of communication. Gemini energy feels most comfortable in groups and speaking in a sociable manner that always takes another person’s feelings and comfort level into consideration. This energy is the happiest when decisions are made as a group so that everyone can be happy and pleasant. That used to be until I met Boss in 2006.

My Boss became more than my boss at work. He became my mentor and inspiration. He was a walking encyclopedia book of information who could recite dates, names, and events to the exact detail. Although I didn’t share my life with many, he was one of the few I did. I trusted him because I always felt he had my best interest at heart.

After learning astrology, it turned out that our North Node/South Nodes were exactly opposite of each other. This meant we were past life, this life, and next life. He understood the Sagittarius energy I needed to learn and I contained the Gemini energy that he needed to learn. He inspired through his own personal stories, historical events, and the very way he innovated and led people to complete their portion of a bigger picture. My thought: when I grow up I want to be just like him….I was 31 when I began working for him.

When I met him, I was beginning my new 12 year Jupiter conjunct Sun cycle. This is important because Jupiter is the ruler of Sagittarius and the Sun is the ruler of Leo which is the second part of my North Node. He set the tone for that 12 year cycle that followed with questioning, reflecting, and creating my own truth. This cycle has now come to an end as Jupiter has conjuncted my sun again as of January of 2018 beginning a new 12 year cycle.

When I reflect back, I ask myself what did I all do to get myself to this point to be able to feel comfortable sharing my journey and what I believe the purpose of life to be. With my natal Mercury at 0 degrees, I had free reign to create a new way of communicating. In the 12 years from 2006-2018 I was challenged by people and groups for how I spoke and what I spoke about. I spoke too loud, I share too much, my topics of discussion made people uncomfortable, etc etc etc

There were a million reasons why I wasn’t correct to other people and yet inside of me I wanted to bust open and share freely exactly what I was feeling and experiencing. For North Node Sagittarius people, they will encounter these types of situations until they move through the fear and into their truth. For me to judge them back was ridiculous because they were doing exactly as they were suppose to for my soul’s growth.

My voice would go weak when I would share anything that had to do with spirituality. Sometimes nothing came out because the muscles in my throat felt like it had locked up. For this, I got a voice coach. Actually, I got 2 voice coaches because that is what my peeps told me to do. There was a lesson to be learned by having 2.

The first voice coach made me nervous which caused my voice to crack and at times disappear. She didn’t have much patience for me and I felt more judged then I did supported. The second voice coach was an angel. The first time I sang only a whisper came out. I thought she was going to be disappointed in me but she blew me away when she said “I’ll take it!”.

She didn’t care that I didn’t sing perfectly. All she cared about was that I tried. After that my voice miraculously healed and the next song came out strong and loud. I learned that maybe speaking my truth should be done in certain settings with people who could relate and then work my way into my everyday life. The voice warm up strengthened my throat muscle which shifted the way I communicated. There was a presence within my voice and words. Even the pitch and accent shifted as if I was singing my words as opposed to speaking them.

I worked with the belief that people judged me. I believed that people would judge me so I shifted that belief into knowledge and understanding. People are going to have their own opinion and just like I have mine they too will have theirs. I would defend myself when I was being judged. Instead of defending, I would allow the people to say what they wanted and in return I would allow myself the space to speak. The more the physical energy inside of me softened the less people were judging me and shockingly the energy switched to supporting me.

I moved my way back into social media. Defiant for many years that social media was the devil I lived my life autonomously. UNTIL I went to Asia in 2015 and I felt like I wanted to share my experience with my friends and family. I was having a difficult time sending pictures through text or email which made social media my only option. There was a lot of positive feedback from pictures and for the first time in my life it felt good sharing.

I had gone through a huge transformation in Bali and Nepal from meditation. It connected me to ME and I wanted to share that journey through pictures. Pictures were a fun and easy nonattached way of communicating a message. People could feel a difference in the way I expressed myself in photos which had a natural effect in my self-expression within life and in my relationships.

After social media I created a website.I started my website in secret so that I could have full creative power to express myself in a way that had zero boundaries or limits. This finalized the fear of sharing who I am and my experiences throughout life. The more I wrote the more freedom I felt within me. There was no more holding back what I had experienced or am currently experiencing.

I added video and voice recordings to add another dimension to what I had written. I wanted to pass out after my first video upload. My mind was racing with “what ifs” after people saw it. Once again, the frozen fear of high school came back. I sat with the fear and reminded myself that I’m creating the uncomfortable feelings nobody else. I shifted my belief that the situation was scary into a mindset of empowerment. I said what if…this information helped one person to shift into living a conscious life instead of living in fear. To me that was enough, and I never looked back.

In December of 2017 I had a dream. There was a man holding a red hot knife that had been sitting in a fire. He took the knife and cut my throat. Screaming from the pain I woke up screaming in real life or at least what could come out. In reality I had the same pain. I was sick with a cold and the heater was blasting dry air which dried my throat. I thought I was going to die. I sat up trying to nurse myself back to a comfortable level but the pain was unbearable. As I sat in a meditative state to ease the pain and heal my throat, I was taken back to a past life where that actual event happened.

I remembered on every level being persecuted for speaking my truth. It was no wonder I had a fear of dying or being harmed for speaking out. The weeks that followed life had a way of triggering events where I had to communicate what I believed to be true which was in drastic contrast to someone else. Was this the person who taken the knife to my throat in the past life? Could be, in any case I spoke and walked away. A couple of weeks later it felt like a scab had fallen off. Karma cleared.

As I enter into my new 12 year Jupiter cycle I know it will involve the next step of me sharing my journey, experiences, and what my truth is regarding the purpose of life. I have my progressed Mars conjunct my progressed and natal North Node and soon transiting Mars will follow. It is a time of new beginnings and adding fuel to this fire is my 0 degrees Sagittarius ascendant in my Mercury return. The fire from the past life is now blazing hot for me to complete what didn’t get to back then. My stories started out from the past but have now moved into the present moment as my life unfolds before my eyes. I used to wait in anticipation for life to be full of meaning and now each moment is full of depth and curiosity. Thank you Mercury for telling me so.

Mastering Saturn



Earth School has many classes to aid a person in mastering and understanding life. One of the classes involves relationships. The head school master, Saturn, is part of this process. He can show within a synastry chart where a person can personally master an energy through another.

It is through the house placement of the energy can be mastered. Saturn is all about taking on the task himself so it is the responsibility of the house person to master the energy. The mastered energy can bring a feeling of accomplishment and advancement within life.

To further describe where this energy will affect the house holder’s life, then the next step would be to look at the Midheaven and the planets and point within this house. The Midheaven is the house of career, status, major goals, life’s direction and highest aspirations within life. 

Saturn is often known for being challenging because he can restrict or limit anything he is in contact with. This limitation is an indicator of where growth can take place within life. This growth involves a maturing process which involves taking responsibility of one’s own actions and feelings.

Saturn is also known for tests which cause karmic reactions. When this energy is used in its lower attributes then the situations within life will create uncomfortable feelings. These feelings and situations are a barometer to let a person know where they stand within the test taking. Saturn will keep giving the test until the lesson is learned.

The beauty of Saturn that I have come to known is the mastering along with the feeling of accomplishment. He is like the tall deeply rooted sequoia tree that contains knowledge and has been around for ions.  Saturn likes to take his time and think long term so to rush or control the energy is a waste of time and he will let you know through restriction.

Mastery comes from understanding a topic, energy or concept from every angle, so it is only obvious that he will create a scenario in life where a person can have first-hand experience from each of these angles. It is the responsibility of the person to understand the restriction by slowing down to change the behaviors that no longer serve. Saturn squeezes for the person to surrender to move into a new direction.

When I’m feeling the squeeze and can’t seem to grasp the concept from the astrology chart, I meditate asking Saturn what it is he wants me to learn. I am shown in a vision where my growth is in that moment. After the vision I apply the knowledge to my life which ends in a positive outcome.

The negative outcomes with uncomfortable feelings and situations in life happen when I resist the information or don’t take responsibility. Responsibility can be in the form of learning, processing, and applying the information to life.

For example, if Bill has his Saturn in my 6th house then I will have an opportunity to master the 6th house energy of cooperation/sharing, health, diet, alternative healing, and the mind/body/soul connection. Bill will already have the knowledge and experience needed for me to learn from. I can then utilize this energy as the basic foundation to build upon.

It is then my responsibility to continue on with the learning and understanding of the 6th house energy. This energy can then be used for my Midheaven which is the house of career, status, major goals, life’s direction and highest aspirations within life.

To further understand where the energy will take place, a person should know what sign their Midheaven is in. The ruler of the Midheaven sign will add further detail to where a person can have accomplishment in life.

For example, my Midheaven is in Aries. The ruler of Aries is Mars. My Mars is in Scorpio in the 4th house. This means that my career or accomplishment will come from being a trailblazer or creating a new path that would involve emotions and the truths that block me from connecting to the soul, the inner spiritual home, and the physical home. I also have Chiron in my 10th house. Chiron is the wounded healer which means that as I heal my wounds I then can have the status or career of being a healer to help others heal. 

Bill’s purpose in helping me master my Midheaven will include the energy of cooperation/sharing, health, diet, alternative healing, and mind/body/soul connection. Bill is always sharing alternative ways of healing with food and blood type analysis readings. He also shares his knowledge of EMF toxicity that I have experienced within my home that affects my emotions and physical body.

I could feel an energy come from a corner in my bedroom. This energy would put pressure on me and I would feel lethargic, drained and ungrounded. After the initial symptoms I became ill with other symptoms like UTI, amenorrhea, constipation, hair loss, and irritability. In that same corner during the night I would see a swirling vortex of energy. Bill performed a test with special equipment that verified that there were high levels of EMF coming from the corner of the bedroom. It turns out there was a tower 2 streets over that was emitting frequencies which I could feel.

From this experience, he shared alternative ways of healing to protect myself with special equipment. I was able to understand on a mind/body/soul level how an energy affected my physical body which affected my mind/thought process which then affected how I connected within myself. During this period, it was a challenge to meditate and stay in a space of peace and calmness because the energy was causing me to be in a state of irritability and survival mode from all the illnesses.

My responsibility was to implement the new information so that I could heal and feel whole once again. I took the information a step further and researched crystals and stones that mitigate EMF and radiation. Crystals and stones are also part of the 6th house energy. From the experience I learned that Shungite is a powerful stone in healing EMF toxicity as well as other disease within the body.  My passion for using crystals and stones for alternative healing had reawakened.

Another example of Saturn in relationships would be with my brother Yoshi.

My Saturn is the exact degree as Yoshi’s Ascendant in Cancer. Yoshi has a YOD with Saturn at the apex which means he has a special task in this life to fulfill for the creator. With my Saturn conjunct Yoshi’s Ascendant, I will help him understand his purpose for helping the world by helping him understand his identity and the way he goes about accomplishing his goals.

Ironically, when I met Yoshi the transiting Uranus in the sky was about to make contact with his YOD so it was a crucial time for understanding his purpose and the necessary change that needed to take place. He is a spiritual man so he already knew the energy he was working with and what direction he wanted to go in but he was unsure how. The astrology reading validated his information and added some missing pieces to the puzzle about how he was suppose to accomplish his goals.

Yoshi’s Midheaven is in Aries like me so he will be a pioneer. His Mars is in Virgo 2nd house how he makes money and what he values will involve alternative healing, duty/service, cooperation, groups of people, nature, and mind/body/soul connection. All this fits Yoshi’s purpose perfectly because he is an energy healer who utilizes plant medicines.

This dynamic takes place in ALL relationships. These relationships could be with strangers, family, friends, love, bosses, teachers, coworkers and the list continues on to include absolutely everybody. There is never a mistake in meeting somebody within this lifetime. Soul growth is always the main objective for Earth School.

The flow above proves that there are no mistakes in life and therefore a person should never regret a single moment. Embrace each moment as an opportunity of growth and each person is a teacher for you to master the energy of Saturn.

Neptune Karma And The Release



Neptune is about to leave my 8th house for the rest of this lifetime. I had a unique opportunity to understand my behaviors through a mirror image of the different people in my life. 11 years of my Earth School experience was understanding the deep depths of Scorpio involving power, sex, the soul connection, extreme emotional situations, the truths that block me from living through the soul, death/rebirth, creation of life, energetic boundaries and understanding the intimate connection to Self.

I have planets and asteroids in my 8th house and that means I had some karma to clear from past lives with Jupiter, Juno, Black Moon Lilith, Ceres and Pholus. Neptune transiting a natal house is about purifying karma through reflection and transcending the issues into love and compassion. Neptune transiting my 8th house means that I was purifying and transcending the above energies. Each time I released the people or situations, I felt a wholeness and complete feeling within me. This wholeness was my new connection to my intimate Self.

Every relationship I experienced in this time was karmic. I have my Saturn retrograde in the 12th house of Pisces. That means I had to reclaim my power by burning a whole lot of karma from a past life all while burning the karma in the present moment. Transiting Neptune was working in sync with my Natal Saturn and natal Chiron. Saturn rules the 10th house which is where my natal Chiron lives. He is also retrograde which means I needed to reclaim my healing ability. I always knew I was to reclaim these energies but I didn’t know the timeline. Now I know.

I was aware that I was healing past karma but I didn’t know it astrologically in regards to Neptune moving through my 8th house. Now that I look back and can see how this scenario unfolded, I can finally breathe a sigh of relief and tears of joy well up realizing all this was for a purpose on a much deeper level than originally known. In a past blog I talked about writing my thesis and I had to complete a task for my PHD, well I figured out my thesis.

Starting from 2007 part of this karmic process was about love and broken relationships for me. I was beginning to think I would never find love in the way that I envisioned or seen in my dreams. Jupiter and Juno are in my 8th house which created the themes of soul mates and infidelity. Black Moon Lilith was the primal fear that caused anger because of power issues. This fear of power created a blockage to not trust a guy which caused me to never totally share my deep love and passion for them.

At the beginning of this transit 11 years ago, I had a beautiful relationship that I based all others on. I directed my behaviors towards the lessons I learned in the relationships that followed. Each relationship after this had a guy that contained my behaviors prior to understanding and acknowledging my own behaviors with the 2007 guy who I will call GB, short for Golden Boy.

I would try to give the same patience and understanding to the guys that I was given by GB. Eventually in the later years of the transit all people were my mirrors. I would see my current behaviors in others whether it was good or bad. It was like one constant connection with everyone also known as the concept of ONE. This gradual process took place through constant reflection of the situations, the people in my life, and my behaviors.

This mirror process was obvious when giving astrology readings. Sometimes I wouldn’t follow the advice my peeps had shared for my next step in my journey. When that happened, then someone would ask for a reading and it would be the exact information that my peeps had shared. Sometimes a friend would call me for advice and it was bizarre how they were having the exact same problem that I was having at that moment.

I would question whether this was all a game or if I was connecting to something that was on a larger scale. I mean it was totally bizarre! I had a person who was encountering the exact same behaviors and issues I used to have prior to and during my Saturn Return. My Saturn Return was a horrible and one of the worst experiences I had in this lifetime but at the same time I matured in many ways. I was a brand spanking new person by the time the transit was all over.

Saturn returns are a maturing process for everyone around the ages of 28-29. It is a time when a person should release the lower attributes of the South Node behaviors and to begin to adopt the North Node attributes which for me were about truth, integrity, and independence.

I was able to find peace in the negative emotions and situations that I held on to since my Saturn Return because I was able to see other peoples’ experience from a detached point of view. I seriously thought the boyfriend during the Saturn Return was the devil but now knowing what I know, I can see he was only doing his part for my soul’s growth.

Once I understood the energy of the planets for our astrology charts along with our behaviors, I could see from a high level where we could have made other decisions. I am eternally grateful for the people who shared their lives and experience with me. Without the people sharing, I would still be holding on to an angry grudge.

Which brings me back to the present. In 2013 I met a guy who I will call EG, short for Expansion and Growth, represented by the Jupiter energy since that is the ruler of my North Node. He played the most instrumental part in me clearing karma because after the third time seeing him I had a dream of our past life together in Egypt.

In the dream there was a moon in the sky, a mountain, a river, and a golden chalice. My Peep told me to stay true to my path. I felt uncomfortable because I was consciously aware I was in a dream. My Peep repeated to stay true to my path. At this point I said, “I want out of this dream” and I woke up.

In my room to the right of my bed where EG was standing in the dream was a white ghost version of him in this reality. I jumped back and gasped. The white figure disappeared, and I lay in bed asking a million questions. My Peeps explained that EG and I were past life lovers and he cheated on me. In revenge and anger I killed him by poisoning him with a drink. It was some time after, I was told that to receive my healing ability I had to purify my anger into forgiveness and love.

After learning astrology, I learned that this was Jupiter conjunct Juno conjunct Pholus. Juno was married to Jupiter and he had a difficult time being faithful to Juno. Pholus is a centaur planet that represents a hidden ability that is gained through a spiritual experience.

Sounds easy right? HA! Truth be told no one on this planet can trigger me like he does and there were a couple times I thought I was going to lose it. But I stayed true to the teaching and growth and in the end, I learned that the rage and revenge weren’t worth it because it wasn’t him who was the evil but really my own fear. My own fear kept me in a prison locked up unable of expressing my true love and affection.

I also learned about people who are reliable and responsible and those who are not. It is important for me to make the distinction between the two because of my Black Moon Lilith in Aquarius. Especially during Neptune transiting the 8th house because Neptune is known as the planet of deception and the 8th house is sharing energy. I was learning about the imbalances between give and take within my relationships. My Black Moon Lilith in the 8th house is the fear of loss so the lesson from her was letting the dysfunctional relationships go.

Once I understood the fear, then I was able to enter into the space of creation. This space now allows me to create a life of freedom, love, and abundance.  I now understand the true meaning of power or the lack thereof. Power isn’t an act, power is an energy within that can be used to transform the old and the new. It is shared but never given or taken. This concept reminds me of a story my peeps told me during a separation with EG.

6/8/14

The prince stole the princess’ heart and ran away with it and never to return again. She searched the world for it but could not find the heart. She could feel it so close but never to find it or hold it. Time passed by and one day she came upon an old lady who said she could help her find her heart. In return, she asked that she find her a young male to tend to her. The princess agreed and they went on their way to find her heart. They came upon the prince and asked for the heart to be returned to the princess so that she could be whole again, but he declined. He said that her heart had combined with his heart and they were to never be separated again. The old lady said “I brought you to your heart and now I get my male” and she took the prince. The princess was left with nothing, not her heart and not the prince. So she asked the heavens above “Why would this happen because my heart is my heart?” The angels replied “You willingly gave your heart and now he has chosen to keep it. Ask for it back and it shall be returned back to you. But know that sometimes you have to give someone your love for them to heal but that healing takes time and it has to be done on that person’s time not on yours. Build a new heart within yourself that is bigger and stronger and know that you do not have to give to someone but keep it and shine it bright. For in your presence they will heal instead of having to give to get”. And so it was. The princess grew a new bigger stronger heart and she let her light shine for all so that in her presence everyone could heal. She never had to worry about losing her heart because it was never about giving it away to begin with. The lesson is, be who you are and be brave to show your true colors because then the heart remains within you and not with someone else.

This 11 year cycle ends and all the energy within my chart is showing new beginnings. As the energy of Neptune in the 8th house slowly moves away, I am able to remove the residue and place it all in the palm of my hand. There I can see every event and lesson and the wisdom that it produced for me to understand the meaning of life.

Pluto has opposed my natal Saturn to bring it back into balance. He’s sextiling my natal Sun and Venus all while sextiling transiting Jupiter creating a smooth transition with each of my efforts. Transiting Jupiter conjunct my Sun setting off a new 12 year cycle. During this time there was a full moon in my 12th house of endings saying good bye to the old life as I patiently wait for the next full moon in my 1st house of new beginnings.

The last new moon was in my 7th house of relationships signaling a new beginning pertaining to relationships for the next 6 months. Kaali has been purifying my Black Moon Lilith so that I can freely express myself within this new relationship time period. Kaali is also conjuncting my Venus Return Descendant to keep the purification process going for another year. My progressed Mars, the planet of igniting the fire for new beginnings, is conjuncting my North Node and progressed Neptune with the transiting Mars soon to follow. That is a whole lot of energy going on and I’m loving it!!!

The best energy of all is Neptune moving into my 9th house. I can finally relax because the 9th house doesn’t involve karmic relationships. This is the spiritual house and the house that rules my North Node. This is when divine intervention takes place and life feels like it is full of miracles. I’ve earned my stripes and I’m ready to enjoy the fruits of my labor.